Bad Christmas presents - I hope you kept the receipt...

[EltonFrog]

....... the following summer, for my birthday..... she bought me gardening tools!!!!!

Why? Did she you looking at some flowers?

 

[EltonFrog]

Anyone need about 3,000 gallons of cheap aftershave which people keep buying me every year?

Your not taking the hint are you?

 

[green1]

I feel like I've failed unless the missus gets at least 1 really crap present every year. Last year she wanted a Kindle, she got a kinder (egg), she later found a kindle under her pillow when she went to bed.

 

[defy-one]

Why? Did she you looking at some flowers?

to this day i don't understand either prezzie..... but i do remind her from time to time and we have a giggle about it, bless her

 

[MontyVeda]

you guys seriously need some help... what about the Wottle!

...it's a bottle, for putting water in, hence 'W'ottle.

Genius!!!

 

[EltonFrog]

Why? Did she you looking at some flowers?

By the way here's the "see" that should be in that sentence, I knew it was around here somewhere!

 

[Fnaar]

I bought my dad a Cossack hat one Christmas, as it was cold, and he was bald on top. He hated it, and refused to wear it, and kept it in a cupboard. I reclaimed it after he died (26yrs ago) and I still have it. In a cupboard. I won't wear it.

 

[Globalti]

My late sister once gave me a set of 6 white wine glasses from a petrol station. My mum gave me a pair of socks taken from an M&S set of five pairs.

My wife and son gave me a body warmer about three Christmases ago; I hate it and have only worn it once. It makes me look even more stupid than normal.

 

[ColinJ]

Madame Butterfly!

Ooh, thought I. Bit of opera, costumes, acting, Puccini, what’s not to like? Let’s have a quick look at the plot.


Act One

An American guy – Pinkerton - marries a young Japanese woman – Butterfly.
After all, he knows divorce is easy in Japan.


Act Two

Pinkerton has been back in the US for over two years, Butterfly is raising their child.
She thinks he’s coming back to her. No-one else does.


Act Three

Pinkerton comes back to collect the child. With his American wife. Butterfly kills herself.

*SPOILER*?

 

[Oxo]

My Mum bought me hankies with the initial 'W' on them. My initial is 'C'

 

[phil_hg_uk]

My Mum bought me hankies with the initial 'W' on them. My initial is 'C'

 

[MontyVeda]

so what's the acceptable time limit for sending unwanted gifts to the charity shop?

I used to wait a few months bu I think after boxing day and before new year is a better timescale.

 

[Night Train]

I used to get no end of Poundland three packs of Lynx all over body spray.
I hate perfumed stuff. Simple soap for me.

I once got little ankle socks with 'Dad's Taxi' printed on the side.
I don't have kids.

My Dad once got me a pair of white, chunky 'designer' sunglasses with diamante studs on the arms that he got with tokens from the newspaper.
I , not only were they ugly but I wear glasses to see by so can't wear sunglasses.

I once got, from a girlfriend's Mum, a 'Santa' thong.
I

The following year I got a horse's head willy warmer from her.
I, Errr

 

[MontyVeda]

my heart goes out to you Night Train... I've got an ever growing backlog of Lynx, courtesy of my mother. My BO smells better than that chemical... IMHO

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

so what's the acceptable time limit for sending unwanted gifts to the charity shop?

I used to wait a few months bu I think after boxing day and before new year is a better timescale.

It depends on whether the givee is likely to come round to your house and is full enough of themselves that they expect to see you using their present.