Hacienda71
Mancunian in self imposed exile in leafy Cheshire
- Location
- Wilmslow, Cheshire
She used to play for Wigan at the back of the scrum
best song lyric.
- Thread starter dan_bo
- Start date
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Hacienda71
Mancunian in self imposed exile in leafy Cheshire
- Location
- Wilmslow, Cheshire
I will get thread banned if I post the next line 
OP
OP
dan_bo
How much does it cost to Oldham?
OP
OP
dan_bo
How much does it cost to Oldham?
I will get thread banned if I post the next line
Its about being eager to build a wheel innit?
- Location
- Egham
Cleaner...
I used to work the Harvester
I used to use my hands
I used to make the tractors and the combines that plowed and harvested this great land
Now I see my handiwork on the block everywhere I turn
And I see the clouds 'cross the weathered faces and I watch the harvest burn
I quit the plant in '57
Had some time for farmin' then
Banks back then was lending money
The banker was the farmer's friend
And I've seen the dog days and dusty days
Late spring snow and early fall sleet;
I've held the leather reins in my hands and felt the soft ground under my feet
Between the hot, dry weather and the taxes, and the Cold War it's been hard to make ends meet
But I always put the clothes on our backs,
But I always get the shoes on our feet
My grandson, he comes home from college
He says, "We get the government we deserve"
My son-in-law just shakes his head and says, "That little punk, he never had to serve"
And I sit here in the shadow of suburbia and look out across these empty fields
I sit here in earshot of the bypass and all night I listen to the rushin' of the wheels
The big boys, they all got computers, got incorporated too
Me, I just know how to raise things
That was all I ever knew
Now, it all comes down to numbers
Now, I'm glad that I have quit
Folks these days just don't do nothin'
Simply for the love of it
I went into town on the Fourth of July
Watched 'em parade past the Union Jack
Watched 'em break out the brass and beat on the drum
One step forward and two steps back
And I saw a sign on Easy Street, said "Be Prepared to Stop"
Pray for the independent, little man
I don't see next year's crop
And I sit here on the back porch in the twilight
And I hear the crickets hum
I sit and watch the lightning in the distance but the showers never come
I sit here and listen to the wind blow
I sit here and rub my hands
I sit here and listen to the clock strike, and I wonder if I'll see my companion again
Don Henley
I used to work the Harvester
I used to use my hands
I used to make the tractors and the combines that plowed and harvested this great land
Now I see my handiwork on the block everywhere I turn
And I see the clouds 'cross the weathered faces and I watch the harvest burn
I quit the plant in '57
Had some time for farmin' then
Banks back then was lending money
The banker was the farmer's friend
And I've seen the dog days and dusty days
Late spring snow and early fall sleet;
I've held the leather reins in my hands and felt the soft ground under my feet
Between the hot, dry weather and the taxes, and the Cold War it's been hard to make ends meet
But I always put the clothes on our backs,
But I always get the shoes on our feet
My grandson, he comes home from college
He says, "We get the government we deserve"
My son-in-law just shakes his head and says, "That little punk, he never had to serve"
And I sit here in the shadow of suburbia and look out across these empty fields
I sit here in earshot of the bypass and all night I listen to the rushin' of the wheels
The big boys, they all got computers, got incorporated too
Me, I just know how to raise things
That was all I ever knew
Now, it all comes down to numbers
Now, I'm glad that I have quit
Folks these days just don't do nothin'
Simply for the love of it
I went into town on the Fourth of July
Watched 'em parade past the Union Jack
Watched 'em break out the brass and beat on the drum
One step forward and two steps back
And I saw a sign on Easy Street, said "Be Prepared to Stop"
Pray for the independent, little man
I don't see next year's crop
And I sit here on the back porch in the twilight
And I hear the crickets hum
I sit and watch the lightning in the distance but the showers never come
I sit here and listen to the wind blow
I sit here and rub my hands
I sit here and listen to the clock strike, and I wonder if I'll see my companion again
Don Henley
Hacienda71
Mancunian in self imposed exile in leafy Cheshire
- Location
- Wilmslow, Cheshire
But after a scrap with the English Navy,
They'll ask for the recipe for chips and gravy.
OP
OP
dan_bo
How much does it cost to Oldham?
Carter USM Sheriff Fatman
Sheriff Fatman started out in business
as a granny farmer
he was infamous for fifteen minutes
and he appeared in Panorama
Then he somehow got himself on board
The Starship Enterprise Allowance Scheme
With a Prince of Wales award
for pushing valium and amphetamines
Now he's moving up onto second base
behind Nicholas Van Wotsisface
At six foot six and a hundred tons
the undisputed king of the slums
With more alias' than Klaus Barbie
the master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea etc etc. ............
The rest are here
Sheriff Fatman started out in business
as a granny farmer
he was infamous for fifteen minutes
and he appeared in Panorama
Then he somehow got himself on board
The Starship Enterprise Allowance Scheme
With a Prince of Wales award
for pushing valium and amphetamines
Now he's moving up onto second base
behind Nicholas Van Wotsisface
At six foot six and a hundred tons
the undisputed king of the slums
With more alias' than Klaus Barbie
the master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea etc etc. ............
The rest are here
OP
OP
dan_bo
How much does it cost to Oldham?
'Single blooooke....I don't wanna be a single blooooke...I'm so horny...I could do it with an artichoke...
My mother had the vicar and the vicar's wife to tea
They cleared the room, they blamed it on the dog
But it was me.
(Chorus)
I've farted, I've farted,
I've made a trouser cough,
I've whistled in my Y-fronts,
I've just peeled one off.
I've blown my bowel bugle (Alt: I've blown my bloody brains out),
I've been eating peas,
I've broken wind,
I've dropped my guts,
Open the window please
I've been eating cabbages, prunes and pears and beans
Drinking Dandelion & Burdock, and you know what that means
Polluting the environment, my friends leave me alone
The front of me sings tenor and the rest sings baritone
(Repeat Chorus)
(Interlude)
Bubbles in the bath! (echo: Bubbles in the bath!)
Real rip snorters! (echo: Real rip snorters!)
Up on one cheek and hope it don't make a noise.
Window rattlers! (echo: Window rattlers!)
Cushion creepers! (echo: Cushion creepers!)
Don't shake your leg and keep it in your courdroys.
A gentleman tells before it smells, he waves his jacket 'til it's gone
But I'm the kind of sneaky bugger, who lets off and doesn't let on
I let them go in lifts, in queues, in phone-boxes and trains
And when they stink, the people blink and blame it on the drains.
(Repeat Chorus)
(Spoken ending)
I say, have you farted?
Of course I have - d'you think I always smell like this?
They cleared the room, they blamed it on the dog
But it was me.
(Chorus)
I've farted, I've farted,
I've made a trouser cough,
I've whistled in my Y-fronts,
I've just peeled one off.
I've blown my bowel bugle (Alt: I've blown my bloody brains out),
I've been eating peas,
I've broken wind,
I've dropped my guts,
Open the window please
I've been eating cabbages, prunes and pears and beans
Drinking Dandelion & Burdock, and you know what that means
Polluting the environment, my friends leave me alone
The front of me sings tenor and the rest sings baritone
(Repeat Chorus)
(Interlude)
Bubbles in the bath! (echo: Bubbles in the bath!)
Real rip snorters! (echo: Real rip snorters!)
Up on one cheek and hope it don't make a noise.
Window rattlers! (echo: Window rattlers!)
Cushion creepers! (echo: Cushion creepers!)
Don't shake your leg and keep it in your courdroys.
A gentleman tells before it smells, he waves his jacket 'til it's gone
But I'm the kind of sneaky bugger, who lets off and doesn't let on
I let them go in lifts, in queues, in phone-boxes and trains
And when they stink, the people blink and blame it on the drains.
(Repeat Chorus)
(Spoken ending)
I say, have you farted?
Of course I have - d'you think I always smell like this?
Fnaar
Smutmaster General
- Location
- Thumberland
Another Smiths one (I'm not a big fan, but really really like SOME of their stuff, as well as Mozza solo:
"Spending warm summer days indoors...writing frightening verse to a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg"...
a terrific image!
"Spending warm summer days indoors...writing frightening verse to a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg"...
a terrific image!
