Burns Night is coming...

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by HJ, 21 Jan 2008.

  1. HJ

    HJ Cycling in Scotland

    Auld Reekie
    With Burns Night coming up on Friday, whats you favourite quote from the immortal bard?

    I will start with -

    "FREEDOM and WHISKY gang thegither,
    Tak aff your dram
  2. sloe

    sloe New Member

    He looed him like a very brither
    They had been fu' for weeks th'gither.

    Tam o'Shanter
  3. Dave5N

    Dave5N Über Member

    How long before someone posts the Hospital joke?

    I reckon about page three - the point where people stop reading all the thread before posting.
  4. Fair fa yer honest sonsie face
    Great chieftain of the puddin race

    I already have my haggis, neeps and tatties bought in anticipation of Friday evening:biggrin:

    My wife doesn't like haggis so there will be plenty to spare if anybody fancies popping round.
  5. Smeggers

    Smeggers New Member

    A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow... and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.

    We do mean Montgomery Burns I take it?
  6. trio25

    trio25 Über Member

    It's the night before my birthday, so have a drink for me.
  7. Fnaar

    Fnaar Smutmaster General

    You spoke too soon...

    Gordon Brown is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of
    patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.

    The patient replies: "Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o'
    the puddin' race, Aboon them a you take your place, Painch, tripe or thairm,
    As langs my airm."

    Brown (although a Scotchman :tongue: himself) is confused, so he just grins & moves on to the next patient.

    The patient responds: "Some hae meat & canna eat, And some wad eat that want
    it, But we hae meat & we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit."

    Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the PM moves on to the
    next patient who immediately begins to chant: "Wee sleekit, cowerin' timrous
    beastie, thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi' bickering brattle."

    Now seriously troubled, Blair turns to the accompanying doctor and asks
    quietly "What kind of facility is this? A mental ward?"

    "No" replies the doctor, "this is the serious Burns unit"
  8. twentysix by twentyfive

    twentysix by twentyfive Clinging on tightly

    Over the Hill
    So Brown really is Blair........ :smile:

    Oh and it's Scotsman (unless drinking/distilling :biggrin:) :biggrin::biggrin:
  9. twentysix by twentyfive

    twentysix by twentyfive Clinging on tightly

    Over the Hill
    "gaethering her broows like gaethering storm,
    Nursin her wrath tae keep it warm"

    Tam O' Shanter.

    Right I'm off for me Haggis n'aw that :tongue: :smile:
  10. Noodley

    Noodley Guest

    Noodley Jnr has to learn this for Friday:

    Willie Wastle dwalt on Tweed,
    The spot they ca'd it Linkumdoddie.
    Willie was a wabster guid
    Could stown a clue wi onie body.
    He had a wife was dour and din,
    O, Tinkler Maidgie was her mither!
    Sic a wife as Willie had,
    I wad na gie a button for her.

    She has an e'e (she has but ane),
    The cat has twa the very colour,
    Five rusty teeth, forbye a stump,
    A clapper-toungue wad deave a miller;
    A whiskin beard about her mou,
    Her nose and chin they threaten ither:
    Sic a wife as Willie had,
    I wad na gie a button for her.

    She's bow-hough'd, she's hem-shin'd,
    Ae limpin leg a hand-breed shorter;
    She's twisted right, she's twisted left,
    To balance fair in ilka quarter;
    She has a hump upon her breast,
    The twin o that upon her shouther:
    Sic a wife as Willie had,
    I wad na gie a button for her.

    Auld baudrans by the ingle sits,
    An wi her loof her face a-washin;
    But Willie's wife is nae sae trig,
    She dights her frunzie wi a hushion;
    Her walie nieves like midden-creels,
    Her face wad fyle the Logan Water:
    Sic a wife as Willie had,
    I wad na gie a button for her
  11. "Och aye the noo" has given way to "Och aye the pre-owned".

    Not only do the poor Scotch kids have to learn how to speak 'pi$$ed' without a wee dram, they have to wear skirts too. No wonder they rely on the English to survive!

    The only burns to be seen in the beautiful South are those sustained when ones fingers get burnt trying to buy a bottle of overpriced spicy sea water at Oddbins...

  12. Dave5N

    Dave5N Über Member

    Premature again, Fnaar? :smile:
  13. Abitrary

    Abitrary New Member

    "Blowing up the road to Glenaveigh
    I sat for a while at the cross at Finnoe
    Where young lovers would meet when the flowers were in bloom
    Heard the men coming home from the fair at Shinrone"
  14. Jaded

    Jaded New Member

    Lang may yer lum reek
  15. Ooooooooh beautiful bridge o'er the Silv'ry Tay

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