Burns Night is coming...

HJ

Cycling in Scotland
Location
Auld Reekie
With Burns Night coming up on Friday, whats you favourite quote from the immortal bard?

I will start with -

"FREEDOM and WHISKY gang thegither,
Tak aff your dram
!"
 

sloe

New Member
Location
Banffshire
He looed him like a very brither
They had been fu' for weeks th'gither.

Tam o'Shanter
 

Smeggers

New Member
A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow... and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.

We do mean Montgomery Burns I take it?
 

Fnaar

Smutmaster General
Location
Thumberland
Dave5N said:
How long before someone posts the Hospital joke?

I reckon about page three - the point where people stop reading all the thread before posting.
You spoke too soon...

Gordon Brown is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of
patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.

The patient replies: "Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o'
the puddin' race, Aboon them a you take your place, Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm."

Brown (although a Scotchman :tongue: himself) is confused, so he just grins & moves on to the next patient.

The patient responds: "Some hae meat & canna eat, And some wad eat that want
it, But we hae meat & we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the PM moves on to the
next patient who immediately begins to chant: "Wee sleekit, cowerin' timrous
beastie, thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi' bickering brattle."

Now seriously troubled, Blair turns to the accompanying doctor and asks
quietly "What kind of facility is this? A mental ward?"

"No" replies the doctor, "this is the serious Burns unit"
 

twentysix by twentyfive

Clinging on tightly
Location
Over the Hill
Fnaar said:
You spoke too soon...

Gordon Brown is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of
patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.

The patient replies: "Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o'
the puddin' race, Aboon them a you take your place, Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm."

Brown (although a Scotchman :tongue: himself) is confused, so he just grins & moves on to the next patient.

The patient responds: "Some hae meat & canna eat, And some wad eat that want
it, But we hae meat & we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the PM moves on to the
next patient who immediately begins to chant: "Wee sleekit, cowerin' timrous
beastie, thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi' bickering brattle."

Now seriously troubled, Blair turns to the accompanying doctor and asks
quietly "What kind of facility is this? A mental ward?"

"No" replies the doctor, "this is the serious Burns unit"
So Brown really is Blair........ :smile:

Oh and it's Scotsman (unless drinking/distilling :biggrin:) :biggrin::biggrin:
 

twentysix by twentyfive

Clinging on tightly
Location
Over the Hill
"gaethering her broows like gaethering storm,
Nursin her wrath tae keep it warm"

Tam O' Shanter.

Right I'm off for me Haggis n'aw that :tongue: :smile:
 

Noodley

Guest
Noodley Jnr has to learn this for Friday:

Willie Wastle dwalt on Tweed,
The spot they ca'd it Linkumdoddie.
Willie was a wabster guid
Could stown a clue wi onie body.
He had a wife was dour and din,
O, Tinkler Maidgie was her mither!
Sic a wife as Willie had,
I wad na gie a button for her.

She has an e'e (she has but ane),
The cat has twa the very colour,
Five rusty teeth, forbye a stump,
A clapper-toungue wad deave a miller;
A whiskin beard about her mou,
Her nose and chin they threaten ither:
Sic a wife as Willie had,
I wad na gie a button for her.

She's bow-hough'd, she's hem-shin'd,
Ae limpin leg a hand-breed shorter;
She's twisted right, she's twisted left,
To balance fair in ilka quarter;
She has a hump upon her breast,
The twin o that upon her shouther:
Sic a wife as Willie had,
I wad na gie a button for her.

Auld baudrans by the ingle sits,
An wi her loof her face a-washin;
But Willie's wife is nae sae trig,
She dights her frunzie wi a hushion;
Her walie nieves like midden-creels,
Her face wad fyle the Logan Water:
Sic a wife as Willie had,
I wad na gie a button for her
 
"Och aye the noo" has given way to "Och aye the pre-owned".

Not only do the poor Scotch kids have to learn how to speak 'pi$$ed' without a wee dram, they have to wear skirts too. No wonder they rely on the English to survive!

The only burns to be seen in the beautiful South are those sustained when ones fingers get burnt trying to buy a bottle of overpriced spicy sea water at Oddbins...





:biggrin::xx(:smile:::ohmy:
 

Abitrary

New Member
"Blowing up the road to Glenaveigh
I sat for a while at the cross at Finnoe
Where young lovers would meet when the flowers were in bloom
Heard the men coming home from the fair at Shinrone"
 
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