vernon
Harder than Ronnie Pickering
- Location
- Meanwood, Leeds
You lot have simple funerals. Jamaican funerals throw unsuspecting funeral directors into disarray.
At my father's burial, attended by a large number of Jamaican relatives and friends from the Midlands and London, I expected to walk away from the graveside after the customary throwing in a handful of soil. It was not to be. First there was the singing of several hymns then an awkward shuffling of feet and stares in my direction. Unbeknown to me and the funeral director who was friend of my father's, it was my duty as the oldest son to lead the filling in of the grave with shovels, none of mechanised assistance thank you very much. A couple of my older male relatives, my fathers's age or older disappeared in search of the grave diggers before reappearing with armfuls of shovels.
A quizzical look from me directed an an elderly aunt was met with the response: 'It's to stop them thieving handles off de coffin - now get shovlin' there's rum crying out to be drunk an I dying of thirst'
Twenty or so sweaty minutes later, muddied and knackered we were conveyed to the post funeral celebration. Loud reggae, jerk chicken, curried goat, ackee and salt fish, patties with Wray and Nephews white cane spirit and White Stripe lager to rinse it all down, the celebrati seon of my father's life continued well into the next day with the final mini bus full of celebrants departing at dawn
I didn't have any idea of the chaos that my father's funeral had caused until it was time for my mother's funeral several years later. The same undertaker turned up and came over to me and said: 'I've got it sorted this time round. I've booked out a double burial slot. Your dad's funeral really knackered our schedule. We had another funeral to do after his and we couldn't make it. We had to get another funeral director to come and collect our hearse and leave his behind.' He then explained why it was necessary to collect the hearse and leave another in its place. It was a two coffin hearse and the next corpse for burial was in a coffin in a void underneath the coffin platform of the hearse - it really would have been a case of being late for your own funeral.
The undertaker and I were much more relaxed about the second funeral. Forewarned is forearmed an all that.
At my father's burial, attended by a large number of Jamaican relatives and friends from the Midlands and London, I expected to walk away from the graveside after the customary throwing in a handful of soil. It was not to be. First there was the singing of several hymns then an awkward shuffling of feet and stares in my direction. Unbeknown to me and the funeral director who was friend of my father's, it was my duty as the oldest son to lead the filling in of the grave with shovels, none of mechanised assistance thank you very much. A couple of my older male relatives, my fathers's age or older disappeared in search of the grave diggers before reappearing with armfuls of shovels.
A quizzical look from me directed an an elderly aunt was met with the response: 'It's to stop them thieving handles off de coffin - now get shovlin' there's rum crying out to be drunk an I dying of thirst'
Twenty or so sweaty minutes later, muddied and knackered we were conveyed to the post funeral celebration. Loud reggae, jerk chicken, curried goat, ackee and salt fish, patties with Wray and Nephews white cane spirit and White Stripe lager to rinse it all down, the celebrati seon of my father's life continued well into the next day with the final mini bus full of celebrants departing at dawn
I didn't have any idea of the chaos that my father's funeral had caused until it was time for my mother's funeral several years later. The same undertaker turned up and came over to me and said: 'I've got it sorted this time round. I've booked out a double burial slot. Your dad's funeral really knackered our schedule. We had another funeral to do after his and we couldn't make it. We had to get another funeral director to come and collect our hearse and leave his behind.' He then explained why it was necessary to collect the hearse and leave another in its place. It was a two coffin hearse and the next corpse for burial was in a coffin in a void underneath the coffin platform of the hearse - it really would have been a case of being late for your own funeral.
The undertaker and I were much more relaxed about the second funeral. Forewarned is forearmed an all that.
.
If i don't post on here for a while will you tell the mods to e mail mrs Accy and ask where i am please?
