By the skin of'...

barq

Senior Member
Location
Birmingham, UK
Ouch!

It reminds me of those statistics for the number of men who have penis/vacuum cleaner accidents every year. :tongue:
 
A spokeswoman for Royal Wigan Infirmary said they were unable to comment about the incident.
...because they were incapacitated with laughter and were unable to form coherent sentences. They were also too busy texting their friends, family and work colleagues about the sad perv they had to assist to think about talking to the press. The spokeswoman we collared only managed to read the official statement from the hospital after being given oxygen and a sedative...
 

strofiwimple

Veteran
Location
sunderland
This reminds me of when i was in the brigade, we used to have a ring cutter in our first aid kit (i could never fathom why the hospital didnt invest in one!) anyway it was a regular occurrence for them to send someone to the station for us to remove a ring- frequently because the person had put on so much weight and couldnt get the ring off.
One day they rang and asked if we could bring the ring cutter to the hospital as they couldnt send the person to us. When we got there- in a side ward a guy was lying on the bed with what i can only describe as a peeled beetroot where his penis should have been. He had put a curtain ring round the base and once he got an erection the blood would not flow back.
He had been in agony for days before plucking up the courage to go to hospital.
While this was obviously a cause of much sniggering i really did feel much sympathy for the guy for the torment and pain he had gone through, sadly he had to have it amputated as leaving it so long gave him gangrene.

Less than a month later one of the other watches had to go to the hospital when a guy had put his penis in a lucozade bottle! They said the worst part was the sound of the cutter on the glass- worse than nails down a blackboard apparently!!
 

papercorn2000

Senior Member
strofiwimple said:
This reminds me of when i was in the brigade, we used to have a ring cutter in our first aid kit (i could never fathom why the hospital didnt invest in one!) anyway it was a regular occurrence for them to send someone to the station for us to remove a ring- frequently because the person had put on so much weight and couldnt get the ring off.
One day they rang and asked if we could bring the ring cutter to the hospital as they couldnt send the person to us. When we got there- in a side ward a guy was lying on the bed with what i can only describe as a peeled beetroot where his penis should have been. He had put a curtain ring round the base and once he got an erection the blood would not flow back.
He had been in agony for days before plucking up the courage to go to hospital.
While this was obviously a cause of much sniggering i really did feel much sympathy for the guy for the torment and pain he had gone through, sadly he had to have it amputated as leaving it so long gave him gangrene.

Less than a month later one of the other watches had to go to the hospital when a guy had put his penis in a lucozade bottle! They said the worst part was the sound of the cutter on the glass- worse than nails down a blackboard apparently!!
Came across a similar story re a guy with really bad genital warts! It looked like a cauliflower!
He had only gone to the doctor 'cos his wife was having problems conceiving. She checked out ok so they decided that he should be tested. Doctor took one look, vomited and sent him to a specialist. Unfortunately, he was so far gone that amputation ws the only recourse!
 
Yes!

* Goes back too tea thred for a cuppa and where it's safe(ish) *
 

Fab Foodie

hanging-on in quiet desperation ...
strofiwimple said:
This reminds me of when i was in the brigade, we used to have a ring cutter in our first aid kit (i could never fathom why the hospital didnt invest in one!) anyway it was a regular occurrence for them to send someone to the station for us to remove a ring- frequently because the person had put on so much weight and couldnt get the ring off.
One day they rang and asked if we could bring the ring cutter to the hospital as they couldnt send the person to us. When we got there- in a side ward a guy was lying on the bed with what i can only describe as a peeled beetroot where his penis should have been. He had put a curtain ring round the base and once he got an erection the blood would not flow back.
He had been in agony for days before plucking up the courage to go to hospital.
While this was obviously a cause of much sniggering i really did feel much sympathy for the guy for the torment and pain he had gone through, sadly he had to have it amputated as leaving it so long gave him gangrene.

Less than a month later one of the other watches had to go to the hospital when a guy had put his penis in a lucozade bottle! They said the worst part was the sound of the cutter on the glass- worse than nails down a blackboard apparently!!
IIRC the fine and upstanding Organ the BBC used to have a family show called "That's life" where Cyril showed pictures of Penises that looked-like vegetables...or something like that...
 
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