Can idiots teach us anything?

[ClichéGuevara]

In the car, in a queue of traffic and an effing and jeffing scrote in a vest and baggy jog pants wobbled through the cars toward the red traffic lights, putting the toe of one raggy trainer on his back wheel, in lieu of the brakes he didn't have on the rusty bar the wheels were fastened to. Him and his mate went through the red 'give way' sign and spat and swore their way down the rest of the road in front of them.

He looked in need of a good wash and a feed, and was about 8 stone wet through, but was glaring at anyone he caught looking in his direction.

What was interesting was, despite wobbling around in the outside lane, texting, nobody close passed him. Cars patiently hung back and gave him plenty of room.

Now I can't generate as much spit, I don't suit a vest, and even at my age, my mother would go barmy if she found I'd used language like this wee fella, but I reckon being more than twice his size, surely I could utilse some of the body language techniques for self preservation?

 

[Shut Up Legs]

Yes, idiots can teach us something: how to be idiots .
As for motorists giving them space: my guess is it's because they looked like potential Darwin Award winners, and none of the motorists wanted to be the one that hit them. Cyclists who confidently ride through traffic and generally adhere to the traffic laws don't inspire as much caution in motorists (and so tend to be given less room). This is why tactics such as the "deliberate wobble/meander" tend to work.

 

[summerdays]

I had one of those who use their foot on the back wheel this week, and even managed a sweeping shalom at the same time, as he exited a side road on completely the wrong side. I'm not sure how they defeat Darwin, but they do! I know if I tried I wouldn't have the same result.

 

[gavintc]

Stupidity is alive and well. Darwinism has not really been too successful in breeding out this problem.

 

[jagman.2003]

An idiot will act beyond logic & reason. They can teach us what can be done, not necessarily what should be done.

I have worked with such a person. The IT dept. both appreciated & hated him as he could test any new software to destruction without engaging brain. Simply by doing the illogical.

Maybe some of the processes employed by the idiot above could be used to defy the other idiots on the road?

 

[e-rider]

In the car, in a queue of traffic and an effing and jeffing scrote in a vest and baggy jog pants wobbled through the cars toward the red traffic lights, putting the toe of one raggy trainer on his back wheel, in lieu of the brakes he didn't have on the rusty bar the wheels were fastened to. Him and his mate went through the red 'give way' sign and spat and swore their way down the rest of the road in front of them.

He looked in need of a good wash and a feed, and was about 8 stone wet through, but was glaring at anyone he caught looking in his direction.

What was interesting was, despite wobbling around in the outside lane, texting, nobody close passed him. Cars patiently hung back and gave him plenty of room.

Now I can't generate as much spit, I don't suit a vest, and even at my age, my mother would go barmy if she found I'd used language like this wee fella, but I reckon being more than twice his size, surely I could utilse some of the body language techniques for self preservation?

there is no doubt that if you ride all over the road 'in a drunk style' cars will be very cautious when passing you and will leave plenty of room. The problem with this technique is that sooner or later, someone will be texting whilst driving and be distracted in some other way, and they will crash into you and kill you.

 

[Hardrock93]

...and even managed a sweeping shalom...

Definitely not a gentileman, then.

 

[sidevalve]

there is no doubt that if you ride all over the road 'in a drunk style' cars will be very cautious when passing you and will leave plenty of room. The problem with this technique is that sooner or later, someone will be texting whilst driving and be distracted in some other way, and they will crash into you and kill you.

Why should it be the drivers fault ? Riding like a total numpty may well kill you but it will be your own stupid fault and I'm sorry but my sympathy will be with the driver.
Besides just remember every driver that saw him will be added to the "don't like cyclists" brigade.

 

[thefollen]

Sorry for the tangent. There are some relevancies in concept however:

I've always wondered if a similar technique works on trains.

In true English fashion I always choose a seat as considerately and unobtrusively as possble. However, once there I'll often get some burger chomping git, phone talker or an encroacher sitting next to me at the next stop. Ok I'll admit, in this oversubscribed country we live space is a luxury and of course I'm down with sharing. It is economy public transport after all.

It'd be fun as an experiment to carry a bag of empty Special Brew cans on a journey. Then, as the train approaches a station position them around, slump a little and adopt a glazed yet scowling expression. You're stone cold sober, but others won't know that.

Reckon you'd get a wide berth and a little more personal space ;-)

 

[ClichéGuevara]

Sorry for the tangent. There are some relevancies in concept however:

I've always wondered if a similar technique works on trains.

In true English fashion I always choose a seat as considerately and unobtrusively as possble. However, once there I'll often get some burger chomping git, phone talker or an encroacher sitting next to me at the next stop. Ok I'll admit, in this oversubscribed country we live space is a luxury and of course I'm down with sharing. It is economy public transport after all.

It'd be fun as an experiment to carry a bag of empty Special Brew cans on a journey. Then, as the train approaches a station position them around, slump a little and adopt a glazed yet scowling expression. You're stone cold sober, but others won't know that.

Reckon you'd get a wide berth and a little more personal space ;-)

No need for the tins, just stare at them with an excited smile and pat the empty seat as an invitation. Would you sit there if rolls were reversed?

 

[e-rider]

Sorry for the tangent. There are some relevancies in concept however:

I've always wondered if a similar technique works on trains.

In true English fashion I always choose a seat as considerately and unobtrusively as possble. However, once there I'll often get some burger chomping git, phone talker or an encroacher sitting next to me at the next stop. Ok I'll admit, in this oversubscribed country we live space is a luxury and of course I'm down with sharing. It is economy public transport after all.

It'd be fun as an experiment to carry a bag of empty Special Brew cans on a journey. Then, as the train approaches a station position them around, slump a little and adopt a glazed yet scowling expression. You're stone cold sober, but others won't know that.

Reckon you'd get a wide berth and a little more personal space ;-)

I've done this for real, and it does work - the seat next to you is always last to go and people will even stand rather than sit next to you

 

[broadway]

Sorry for the tangent. There are some relevancies in concept however:

I've always wondered if a similar technique works on trains.

In true English fashion I always choose a seat as considerately and unobtrusively as possble. However, once there I'll often get some burger chomping git, phone talker or an encroacher sitting next to me at the next stop. Ok I'll admit, in this oversubscribed country we live space is a luxury and of course I'm down with sharing. It is economy public transport after all.

It'd be fun as an experiment to carry a bag of empty Special Brew cans on a journey. Then, as the train approaches a station position them around, slump a little and adopt a glazed yet scowling expression. You're stone cold sober, but others won't know that.

Reckon you'd get a wide berth and a little more personal space ;-)

Football chants as well at stations to ensure the maximum space.

 

[broadway]

there is no doubt that if you ride all over the road 'in a drunk style' cars will be very cautious when passing you and will leave plenty of room. The problem with this technique is that sooner or later, someone will be texting whilst driving and be distracted in some other way, and they will crash into you and kill you.

But the same driver is just a likely to kill a "sensible" cyclist. It is even possible that an erratic cyclist would be more noticeable.

 

[moo]

IME, no helmet and the odd fake wobble - cars sit back and wait. Helmet and ride in a straight line - close dangerous passes all day long.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Sorry for the tangent. There are some relevancies in concept however:

I've always wondered if a similar technique works on trains.

In true English fashion I always choose a seat as considerately and unobtrusively as possble. However, once there I'll often get some burger chomping git, phone talker or an encroacher sitting next to me at the next stop. Ok I'll admit, in this oversubscribed country we live space is a luxury and of course I'm down with sharing. It is economy public transport after all.

It'd be fun as an experiment to carry a bag of empty Special Brew cans on a journey. Then, as the train approaches a station position them around, slump a little and adopt a glazed yet scowling expression. You're stone cold sober, but others won't know that.

Reckon you'd get a wide berth and a little more personal space ;-)

No need for cans.

Simply carry a prayer book, open, on your lap. Guarantees no one will encroach on your space on even the most crowded of services. Or if they do they'll be a nice, middle-class, ordained minister with the good manners to leave you alone.