Christmas cracker jokes

[Roadhump]

I remember these 2 from this afternoon:

Q) What is the fastest fish in the world? A) A motor pike

Q) What is E.T. short for? A) Because he has no legs

Any other crackers?

 

[Tim Hall]

From a couple of years ago:

Why do elephants drink?

To forget.

 

[Dayvo]

Talking of elephants, but this was on a lolly stick back in the '70s/'80s:

Why does an elephant have four feet?
Cos he'd look stupid with four inches.

 

[Mr Celine]

HELP! I'm being held prisoner in a cracker factory.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

How do you get Pikachu on a bus?


You Pokemon.



No, me neither.

 

[Chris S]

What do you call a man outstanding in his field?
A farmer!

 

[Chris S]

What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

 

[Chris S]

What did the Mexican fireman call his twin sons?
Hose A and Hose B.

 

[Chris S]

Why did the Mexican poison his wife's drink?
Tequila!

 

[Roadhump]

What do sea monsters like to eat?

Fish and ships

 

[Dayvo]

What do cannibals eat?
Beans, human beans.