There's a wee weirdo guy in my workplace every morning the 1st floor toilets are beside the garage (and Bicycle parking) to change and give myself a wipe down wash - some wee twonk with long trendy side-shed hair the metro-sexual type with a wee handbag thing who spends ages preening himself always hides in a cubicle – when he sees someone entering he shuts his door and hides out in there - I know it's him every morn.
One time I left and then came back in on the inner door just to catch him on emerging from the cubicle now ‘the coast was clear’ and he pat his shants!
Saw him yesterday though sitting with a lovely looking young girl at lunchtime and I'm shocked how he managed that!
I'm thinking of sending a company-wide email how's this sound:
"To the wee guy who hides in the 1st floor toilets every day please stop preening yerself, no ones really noticing anyway - apart from me who's in real need of a cubicle for proper man-stuff like emptying my bowels or changing my trousers and washing my airse with paper towels and blocking up the plumbing. Please note there's more people due to move into the 1st floor so the demand for the mere 2 cubicles on that floor will only increase - have some consideration you social inadequate.
p.s. to the girl who sits with the hairy wee poser in the canteen - this is the aforementioned hiding weirdo - best avoid
Thanks,
Manly user of the toilets.”

One time I left and then came back in on the inner door just to catch him on emerging from the cubicle now ‘the coast was clear’ and he pat his shants!
Saw him yesterday though sitting with a lovely looking young girl at lunchtime and I'm shocked how he managed that!
I'm thinking of sending a company-wide email how's this sound:
"To the wee guy who hides in the 1st floor toilets every day please stop preening yerself, no ones really noticing anyway - apart from me who's in real need of a cubicle for proper man-stuff like emptying my bowels or changing my trousers and washing my airse with paper towels and blocking up the plumbing. Please note there's more people due to move into the 1st floor so the demand for the mere 2 cubicles on that floor will only increase - have some consideration you social inadequate.
p.s. to the girl who sits with the hairy wee poser in the canteen - this is the aforementioned hiding weirdo - best avoid
Thanks,
Manly user of the toilets.”
