Cold callers

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stephec

Legendary Member
Location
Bolton
Without his y-fronts might have more effect

Do you mind, I'm eating. 😂
 

roubaixtuesday

self serving virtue signaller
Cold cellers all appear to be from Asia. I just speak Danish to them and they give up instantly. I have never had a Danish cold caller.

Beware. I speak a smidgin of Swedish and in Istanbul I once told a carpet seller who asked if I was English that I was Swedish (Ja ar ifron Sverige)

He proceeded to try to flog me carpets in perfect Swedish.
 

presta

Guru
Without his y-fronts might have more effect

600px-Gc_shotgun002.jpg
 

Gwylan

Veteran
Location
All at sea⛵
In Athens with a Belgian colleague, who was local manager.
Driving little car, who knows where in the town.
Colleague takes a turn wrong way
into a one way street. Lots of " locals do it all the time " " it's a handy short cut" etc
Arrive at the end and a policeman steps out of a shop doorway and stops us.
My colleague winks and sort of implies "watch this"
Winds down the window and greets the policeman in his best Flemish.
The policeman sort of gives a shrug and wry grin and replies in equally fluent Flemish.
Turns out the cop's mother was Flemish and his father Greek.
 

Profpointy

Legendary Member
I'm pretty sure I've recounted the following before but good enough to repeat.

There was a rather larger than life and physically large and pompous lecturer in university who answered the door in his string vest and braces, rather like Rab C Nesbit. "We'd like to talk to you about Jehovah". "Oh, you silly little man, I AM JEHOVAH!". The poor JW ran away.

(To be fair I have heard another version of the first story where the conversation goes "We're collecting for Jehovah" "I am Jehovah, how much have we got" attributed to an unrelated academic)

This next one is true. Some JW types called at a friend's place and she was politely trying to fob them off saying she was just going out and there was no one else home, when a load shout came from her boyfriend in the back room "Tell 'em to fark off"
 

rvw

Guru
Location
Amersham
An ex-colleague used the line "Well, I mustn't let you keep me" - ostensibly polite until you think it through!

My sister, on the other hand, dealt with marketing types in the street by smiling sweetly, and saying in her best RP accent "I'm sorry, I don't speak English." It usually confused them long enough for her to get away.
 

Chris S

Legendary Member
Location
Birmingham
With a General Election coming up, expect a lot of smiling people cold calling (phone and visit) asking for your vote. You never see them/hear from them at any other time but they are very polite until you ask them a difficult question such as "why have I never seen you before now?".

They don't bother around here, Labour has a 40,000 majority. That's more than all of the votes for the other candidates put together.
 
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