Comment from Kieron (5) newly off stabilizers.......

[Twenty Inch]

Now you've lost me. I'm not sure if this is an insult, and if so, who's it aimed at? Me or Mrs EMD?

You said that you went sailing past the island with the new-born chimps. They were in the boat with you, right?

 

[got-to-get-fit]

My little boy (3) got some new Puma trainers cos he was starting Soccerskills classes. He wanted to put them on right away, so as we walked down the high street he kept stopping random strangers and saying "do you like my cool trainers?"
Most people were good humoured and played along, but then he asked this big bruiser of a bloke who just ignored him...he asked him again and the guy completely ignored him again. My son looked up at me with a confussed look and i felt one of those father/son protective dilema's. So i looked the bloke square in the eye and said "hey, the boy asked if you liked his trainers ....well do ya?"

The look on his face was excruciating....he went very red spluttered an answer of "yes they are cool mate" and nervously walked away.

The moment was priceless ...me and the little fella 'high fived' and walked on. My hero status was intact.

What i didnt tell my son was that i was "shi**ing myself"

 

[Maz]

The look on his face was excruciating....he went very red spluttered an answer of "yes they are cool mate" and nervously walked away.

Was it anything to do with the .44 Magnum you had pointed at his head?

 

[got-to-get-fit]

LOL ....there was a moment of that.
I dont know why i said "well do ya" it just came to me maybe subconsciously im have a bit of a dirty harry side.

 

[Dayvo]

My daughter who has just started secondary school said at the dinner table the other night "Dad, what's a c*nt?".
I nearly choked on my food.

Staying with a German girlfriend many years ago, her brother, aged about 10 (no, not so young as others quoted here) asked me what the worst swear words were in English.
The next day at the the family dinner - there were eight of us sitting around the table - the mother of the family asked above-mentioned brother to pass him the potatoes. 'Fukk off you kunt' was his phlegmatic reply! Talk about laugh, embarrassed, choke on my food all at the same time!

 

[summerdays]

Saw a little girl with one stabilizer at a school bike breakfast - one of the teachers asked why didn't she remove the other one ... she looked a little worried then declared "Well I suppose I can cycle without it on that side, - I could get Dad to put it on the other side so I can do the other side too!" I couldn't help laughing.

 

[Maz]

Saw a little girl with one stabilizer at a school bike breakfast...

Excuse my ignorance...what's one of those?

Our primary school has got Cycling Proficiency Week in June some time. Might be asked to help out. Have you [or anyone else] ever done stuff like that?

 

[summerdays]

School Bike Breakfast - you encourage the kids to get on their bikes/scooters etc to get to school (nice and early too), where you lay on various things such as croisants and bacon butties, stickers and reflective gear to buy, then get along some other folk to do things like bike maintenance, recycling, cycle training, slow bike races etc.

I've organised one in the past, luckily I didn't have to this time. At the one I organised I had about 1/3 of the school cycle to school (100 bikes) and as I was organising it the previous time I had to be at school for 7.30 am. It did have a knock on effect afterwards for a while, though it obviously diminishes over time.

Bike Breakfasts can be as much or little as you want - your local council "Safe Routes to School" team would be able to give advice on whether they come along and help run one.

 

[goo_mason]

I was once on the bus and there was a Dad with small child (about 4 or 5) sitting in front of me. The wee one stood up on the seat and turned round and stared / smiled at me for a good few minutes. Then he turned to his Dad and said, "Dad ! Dad ! Have you SEEN the size of that man's NOSE !!"

I swear I could have browned toast from the heat given off from the back of that man's reddening neck

And many years ago, my Mum ran a playgroup. One of the little girls was sitting on her knee at story time, more interested in studying at Mum's face than looking at the storybook. After a while she interrupted Mum and said, "Mrs Mason - do you know you have a nose like a witch ?"

Ahhh... the Mason nose. Runs in the family !! (old Mason joke)

And a final one from Mum's playgroup - a little boy sitting on her knee kept prodding her in the crotch from time to time before finally asking, "Mrs Mason, why haven't you got a little winkey like my Daddy ?"

 

[HLaB]

One of my colleagues was telling me about his wife's trip yesterday with the kids. The were passing a field of cattle when the youngest came out with "that ones got a big winkey"

 

[Rhythm Thief]

We were once in a restaurant in Kuwait, years ago. A very bald man walked in, and my brother, who was maybe four at the time, said in a very loud voice: "he didn't eat his peas, did he daddy?"

 

[Sh4rkyBloke]

I was told by my (then) 3 year old that I had a bigger winkey than Lewis at Nursery.

I was glad about that.