Commuting in a short dress - Recommended!

[Becs]

You also have to be aware that contexts will be different for each individual.

Becs, you acknowledge that the comments on board can be sexist whether jokey or not.
I think other posters may not recognise the comments as being sexist as has been alluded to by Dellzeqq and TC.

Totally, some are definitely sexist. Coming from a very boistrous, rugby type family and always being "one of the lads" I have just accepted this as part of life and give as good as I get, but I understand that this is not the same for everybody and people should be mindful of that when they post. . . . .

. . . I'm still waiting for a picture of Teef's legs though

 

[ttcycle]

oh dear - poor Teef, he's got a perv to deal with!

I come from a family of men too and grew up as a massive tomboy (despite what they wanted for a girl).

Thanks, it is thinking about stuff- I'm quite tough and vocal, there are some forummers who aren't and may possibly lurk or find CC distasteful for those reasons.

Just use some grey matter that's all- that's all I'm asking.

 

[007fair]

Poor attempt at a side track.

Whatever it was that was said, would he have said the same to a stranger in the street?

He possibly could have ! ..but only after a few jokes similar the first ones in this thread which lead him to believe that the the comment would be taken in humour Please note - I don't believe he was seriously asking for an upskirt vid If he was - I fully agree with you

 

[Becs]

oh dear - poor Teef, he's got a perv to deal with!

Just adding some equality


Are you coming out for a ride on Sunday, Grace?

 

[ttcycle]

Will need to check Becs, not sure yet.

 

[Mad at urage]

[QUOTE 1551105"]
This shows that many men have no idea of the harassment women have to put up with.
[/quote]
In the context of the "harassment" present in this thread, it does nothing of the sort. That some women have had worse experiences is well understood. That some men have been raped is also understood. That rape and sexual assault tends to be perpetrated on the weakest in society (whoever these may be) and that for some time our society trained women to be weaker than men is all understood.

But that is not what this thread is about. If an adult is worried about simple "I'd like a picture of that" comments then that adult has issues. No-one was threatened in this thread, no-one assaulted, no-one put in fear of a stalker.

Edit: The whole premise of this thread is based on the fact that men react differently to the sight of an (attractive? I have no idea!) woman in a skirt rather than an androgynous 'cyclist' figure. If you want to undo that reaction, I'm afraid you have whole millenia of evolution to deal with. What happened? People on the thread reacted to the idea of a women in a skirt surprise!

 

[Angelfishsolo]

In the context of the "harassment" present in this thread, it does nothing of the sort. That some women have had worse experiences is well understood. That some men have been raped is also understood. That rape and sexual assault tends to be perpetrated on the weakest in society (whoever these may be) and that for some time our society trained women to be weaker than men is all understood.

But that is not what this thread is about. If an adult is worried about simple "I'd like a picture of that" comments then that adult has issues. No-one was threatened in this thread, no-one assaulted, no-one put in fear of a stalker.

 

[Dan B]

Seen recently thanks to a similar conversation in an entirely different place: check your privilege

 

[theclaud]

Some years ago I was walking to a meeting with a female colleague, a manager for whom I had huge respect (getting me to say that about management is itself an Achievement, but she was simply the best manager I've yet to meet). As I am taller with longer legs (walk faster), I strode out in front to hold the door open for her. No ulterior motive, I felt (and feel) no physical attraction for her, it's the sort of thing I've done and do for colleagues male and female over the years. Her response was interesting:
"Do NOT walk in front of me like that! I am NOT a second-class citizen to walk in your wake"
Now let it be said that we were on good, professional terms. At the time I reported to her, I shortly moved on (for career reasons) to a parallel reporting stream, we remained friends; but her reaction was very specific, to a particular 'old-world' courtesy with which habit I was raised. I did hold the door for her occasionally after that, never had the same reaction (probably because I was so puzzled by - and questioned, her reaction on that occasion).

Ah! The old Opening Doors chestnut! I nearly incorporated that into my previous post but thought it wouldn't be necessary. Forgive my questioning the detail of your story, but is for real? I ask because I consider myself a radical feminist and I have yet to meet any woman who actually gets offended by a man happening to hold a door open for her, or one who imports to it an "ulterior motive". Some men go to slightly absurd lengths to be seen to be opening doors for women, and this can be a bit patronising, but it's hardly up there with the major feminist issues of our time. I think of it as a bit of a myth (the function of which is to associate claims to equality with absurd demands), along the same lines as councils banning Christmas and hypothetical people being offended by manhole covers.

 

[ttcycle]

In the context of the "harassment" present in this thread, it does nothing of the sort. That some women have had worse experiences is well understood. That some men have been raped is also understood. That rape and sexual assault tends to be perpetrated on the weakest in society (whoever these may be) and that for some time our society trained women to be weaker than men is all understood.

But that is not what this thread is about. If an adult is worried about simple "I'd like a picture of that" comments then that adult has issues. No-one was threatened in this thread, no-one assaulted, no-one put in fear of a stalker.

Errr excuse me? When I'm asking people to think a bit more before posting mindless twaddle you're saying I have issues? That is one hell of a momentous jump.

 

[XmisterIS]

High five! Pepsi max.

 

[dellzeqq]

I threw myself into the deep end of this thread .. not entirely sure why!

can't help you there!

The humour was started by a female and other females contributed .. seriously - were the first page of comments that bad or do they now look bad because of the way they have discussed afterwards? Was the OP offended ?

it's a bit like Wittgenstein and apples (I can hear TC warming up her keyboard to tell me that it's not like Wittgensteing and apples at all, but I'm hoping she'll stay her hand...). If I say apple then you think that I mean what you think of as an apple - so it behoves each one of us to take a little care. Personally I thought that some of the posts were a bit rank. Personally I think an apology is in order.

On the other hand, if we were ever to meet, you'd probably work out that the person who posts on these forums is by a long way a lot more polite and a lot less foul-mouthed than the person that rides his bicycle. Setting aside Shaun's swear-filter, I like to think of myself as having a few social graces, which is why one poster didn't get told to '**** off and die, you pervy little ****', a remark that could be, alternatively, deeply offensive or sidesplittingly funny. I'll vote for both.

It's the blindness of humour that makes it, from time to time, so repellent.

 

[growingvegetables]

I think TT's reaction to some of the posts made in this thread is perfectly sensible. It wouldn't do any of us any harm to think about it.

+1 - and written with more grace than I could muster; thank you

 

[adds21]

Ah! The old Opening Doors chestnut! I nearly incorporated that into my previous post but thought it wouldn't be necessary. Forgive my questioning the detail of your story, but is for real? I ask because I consider myself a radical feminist and I have yet to meet any woman who actually gets offended by a man happening to hold a door open for her, or one who imports to it an "ulterior motive". Some men go to slightly absurd lengths to be seen to be opening doors for women, and this can be a bit patronising, but it's hardly up there with the major feminist issues of our time. I think of it as a bit of a myth (the function of which is to associate claims to equality with absurd demands), along the same lines as councils banning Christmas and hypothetical people being offended by manhole covers.

Nope. It's happened to me too. I'll often hold doors open but have been told (once) I was sexist for doing so. Unfortunately, I was so flabbergasted at the time I didn’t have time to argue.

I should point out that I'll hold doors open for either sex, and am more than happy to go through a door being help open for me by a woman. It's not a sexist thing, it's just a politeness thing.

 

[Dan B]

I get in terrific trouble for holding doors open. Apparently you're not supposed to do it if they're revolving doors though

I mean, how was I supposed to know?