Continuing the species

[Flick of the Elbow]

Forget about the 'preprogramming' stuff, at the risk of sounding like a whodunnit it's about motive and opportunity. If the opportunity presents itself do you want to be married and do you as a couple want kids ?
For me I had the good fortune to meet a lovely girl on a cycling holiday 21 years ago. After a little while, getting married just felt right, it still does. I've never felt a great desire for kids but I guess if my wife had, then we'd have had some. But she's never been fussed about having kids either so here we are, late 40's and early 50's, just the two of us and very happy with that.

 

[shouldbeinbed]

I've added a couple of extra offspring on others behalf, just the way it fell really, not much planning to meeting marrying and procreating with Mrs SB, just the way the cookie crumbled.

 

[shouldbeinbed]

Disagree on there being no pre programmed urge to reproduce, just have to watch a dog with its b*****ks still attached ( sometimes not) to see that itch try to be scratched. Nature is filled with sex and procreation and in many species monogamous coupling but no churches to make it legal in the eyes of god.

More than opposable thumbs, our higher mental functions preventing us leaping on one another in the middle of Debenhams at the right whiff of pheromone is the primary difference between human animals and other ones.

 

[Tin Pot]

Know this might...well will be contentious... but having a reflective thinking moment and...It became clear to me that I've been pretty preprogrammed in life. Always knew that I'd get married, have a couple of kids etc. Are most people the same? If not, does it take a lot to step away???

By the way, have no preconceptions about people...everyone makes their own decisions...we're all adults :-)

How is this contentious?

It is our nature to want sex, to have children and to raise them. This is both self-evident, and supported by scientific study.

I think it's funny when people claim anything else. There are exceptions, of course, but so what?

 

[MarkF]

No, I am scatterbrained and have muddled through several unrelated careers, and life, on my wits and basic intelligence. At times I wonder how I've manged to acquire a lovely woman and 3 children, it beats me. My sister is the polar opposite, one desk bound job her entire life.

 

[vernon]

I've added a couple of extra offspring on others behalf,

Grudge pregnancies? You had it in for someone while they were away...

 

[screenman]

Married at 18 and a child the same year, if I planned that I did not know about it.

Another 2 kids and 40 years on and still smiling.

 

[Lullabelle]

My folks told us 3 kids that they did not expect us to marry and have kids, if we did then it should be because we want to and not because we feel that we should. Brother has kids, sister married with kids we do not have kids and I have never had any desire to have any.

 

[Tin Pot]

Grudge pregnancies? You had it in for someone while they were away...

Perhaps shouldbeinbed shouldn't.

 

[400bhp]

How is this contentious?

It is our nature to want sex, to have children and to raise them. This is both self-evident, and supported by scientific study.

I think it's funny when people claim anything else. There are exceptions, of course, but so what?

Well, actually I think the exceptions are part of normal. Normal includes outliers.

 

[Venod]

I remember sitting in the pub saying to my mate (later my best man & I his) if I don't pack it all in and FO somewhere I will end up with a mortgage and a couple of kids, he says you had better not go without me. we didn't go, we both got married had 2 kids each, I now have six grandchildren, he has three, we both have been married 41 years and still talk bollocks down the pub, we have friends who did go who seem to be just as happy as we are, isn't life wonderful.

 

[Arrowfoot]

I was told once that you never plan for your marriage but for your wedding and you never plan for having children but you plan for them growing up. Apparently nature takes care of it while the best of us stumble into it while all the planning goes into nurturing,

 

[Tin Pot]

Well, actually I think the exceptions are part of normal. Normal includes outliers.

Sure.

 

[ufkacbln]

Married at 22, mortgage, 2 kids. Still married to the same woman after 22 years.

It's not been 'expected' but I'd not change it.

N+1 W+1

 

[ufkacbln]

It is "fate"

We have two very good friends, who were "childhood sweethearts", but as life went on had different paths

Both got married, and had kids, then divorced and met at a single parents group, took up where they left off and now have two wonderful girls as well