Corrupt A Wish

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Scoosh

Velocouchiste
Moderator
Location
Edinburgh
Your hands weren't oily - it was merely a 'blackish gel-like naturally-based-residue emanating from the labour of your hands' and washes off very easily, with diesel.

I wish I could go to bed before I fall asleep. :tired:
 

Scoosh

Velocouchiste
Moderator
Location
Edinburgh
zzz - zzz zzz - eh ? :huh: what ?? :blink: :unsure:

You can ride a bike - and it has square wheels ! :thumbsup:

I wish I could get motivated to do my tax return. :sad:
 

Shortmember

Bickerton Cyclocross Racing Team groupie
The recent revelations that the Government has spent your taxes on such worthwhile projects as providing government employees with biscuits at a bargain price of £3,000,000 per year, and the Ministry of Justice spent £4.5 million to taxi firms for moving prisoners and staff around the country, should provide all the motivation you need to happily complete your tax returns.

I wish my pension was £1,000 a week-tax free.
 

Scoosh

Velocouchiste
Moderator
Location
Edinburgh
Your pension IS £1,000 a week tax-free - pity the cost of living has gone up 2,000% since you were informed. :sad:

I wish my tax return were done and I could get a big (n+1-sized :smile:) rebate.
 

Shortmember

Bickerton Cyclocross Racing Team groupie
You will qualify for a massive rebate of £1000. However, on the day it is due to be paid the newly elected Old Labour government will announce that tax rebates will be taxed at a rate of 99 pence in the pound with immediate effect.

I wish that Sebastian Vettel could be persuaded to fit square wheels on his F1 car next season, so that all the other overpaid drivers could be in with the chance of an occasional win.
 

Scoosh

Velocouchiste
Moderator
Location
Edinburgh
SV volunteers to have square wheels fitted to his F1 car next year - and still wins everything. :ohmy: This results in massive savings for all other F1 teams as they cut their non-competitive drivers salaries by 75%.

I wish more people would take part in this thread. :whistle:
 

Scoosh

Velocouchiste
Moderator
Location
Edinburgh
You don't have to go to work tonight - you can party :cheers: , party :dance:, party :girldance: .... until the bills come in.

I wish Mrs Scoosh's shoulder would get fixed this afternoon.
 

Shortmember

Bickerton Cyclocross Racing Team groupie
Mrs Scoosh's shoulder will indeed be fixed perfectly, using baling wire and masonry nails, by a specialist who has recently graduated from the Royal Bodgit Academy of Advanced Shoulder Fixing Techniques.

I wish my rabbit Stroppy could manage to sit on my crossbar without falling off all the time.
 

Scoosh

Velocouchiste
Moderator
Location
Edinburgh
Your rabbit Stroppy manages to stay on your crossbar all the time bur unfortunately, also causes your bike to stop each time a vehicle approaches with its headlights on .... which causes you 'some concern'.

I wish I hadn't done the CC Ecosse Forum ride on Saturday.
 

classic33

Leg End Member
You didn't do the CC Ecosse Forum ride on Saturday, it was all a dream. The real ride is this weekend.

I wish I had one more wish than others had.
 

Scoosh

Velocouchiste
Moderator
Location
Edinburgh
You have one more wish than others had and it is granted: your wish was to ride around the world. :hello:

I wish I were always able to ride in warm weather :sun:, flat or downhill, with a few gentle 'inclines of an upward direction'.
 

Shortmember

Bickerton Cyclocross Racing Team groupie
After your runaway victory in the Most Alluring Pimply Buttocks contest at this year's Highland Games, you have won a no expenses paid, unguided cycle tour of the Southern Libyan Desert in mid summer.This beautiful desert is a balmy 110 Celcius in the shade; almost all flat, and the only gentle inclines are up the sides of the sandy humps that cover the unexploded mines left by the Afrika Korps in WW 2.

I wish Ann Summers sold affordable crotchless underwear for men; my sex life needs a boost.
 
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