Cracker Type Joke Time

[palinurus]

Why was Santa's helper depressed?

He had low elf-esteem.

 

[Archie_tect]

TWo fish in a tank, one says

"Ill steer, you fire the gun"

 

[Slim]

Why do elephants paint their goolies red?















So they can hide in cherry trees without being seen.

 

[Slim]

What's the loudest sound in the jungle?










A giraffe eating cherries

 

[TheDoctor]

Two Owls stood on a perch, one says to the other, "Can you smell fish?"

So what does the other one say?

This joke is useless without a punch-line.

Perch (noun)

1. A rod or branch serving as a roost for a bird.
2. Any of various spiny-finned freshwater fishes of the genus Perca, especially either of two edible species, P. flavescens, of North America, and P. fluviatilis, of Europe.


Clearer now?

 

[Archie_tect]

A man walked into a bar....

... and said, "Ow!"

 

[slowmotion]

Why are pirates called pirates......?



















...because they ARGHAAAAAAH....

 

[mangaman]

An Englishman, Scottsman and a Pakistani walked into a pub.










And everything kind of then plays out in a tedious and steriotyped way.




I'll probably not get a job as a cracker joke writer again - for the 12th year running.

 

[ThePainInSpain]

WARNING.....................If you receive an e.mail headed 'Naked pictures of Anne Widicombe'

DO NOT OPEN IT
























it contains .....pictures of Anne Widicombe naked

 

[Hover Fly]

A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet.
He goes into the surgery and says
"Ah've come about me cat, it keeps spraying on t' furniture."
Vet says
"Well, is it a tom?"
Tyke says
"No its in this box yer daft bugger".

 

[TVC]

A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet.
He goes into the surgery and says
"Ah've come about me cat, it keeps spraying on t' furniture."
Vet says
"Well, is it a tom?"
Tyke says
"No its in this box yer daft bugger".

Punchline?

 

[beanzontoast]

Perch (noun)

1. A rod or branch serving as a roost for a bird.
2. Any of various spiny-finned freshwater fishes of the genus Perca, especially either of two edible species, P. flavescens, of North America, and P. fluviatilis, of Europe.


Clearer now?

I got it Doc - is it me or is this thread getting a little too serious?

 

[TVC]

Two caterpillars sat on a leaf, just then a butterfly flutters past. One caterpillar turns to the other "You'll never get me up in one of those things".

 

[Night Train]

A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet.
He goes into the surgery and says
"Ah've come about me cat, it keeps spraying on t' furniture."
Vet says
"Well, is it a tom?"
Tyke says
"No its in this box yer daft bugger".

Took a moment to figure out which accent to use before I got it.

 

[vernon]

[QUOTE 1270569"]
Whats the easiest way to catch a rabbit?
































Lay under a bush and make a noise like a carrot.
[/quote]

How do you catch a unique rabbit?































Unique up on it.