Cracker Type Joke Time

[vernon]

How do you catch a unique rabbit?































Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?































The tame way.

 

[Aperitif]

I just bought eight legs of venison for £40.

Is this too dear?

(I just heard that on the radio - I haven't got a sense of humor )

 

[taxing]

This is genuinely from a cracker we got in a Chinese last week.

What's the difference between a sick horse and a dead bee?


One's a seedy beast, the other's a bee deceased.

 

[guitarpete247]

What's the fastest thing in the river?



















Motor Pike and Side Carp

 

[Speicher]

What is white and yellow, wrapped in cellophane and travels at 110 miles an hour?




























Train driver's egg sandwich.

 

[Speicher]

What is the difference between an elephant and a letter box?

 

[Hover Fly]

What's yellow, has carrots in it and goes round the sun every 76 years?


Halley's vomit.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

What is the difference between an elephant and a letter box?

Al Zymer been visiting Speicher?

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

wot's black and yellow and dangerous?































Shark infested custard

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Wot's Green and hairy and goes up, down, up down?

























Gooseberry in a lift

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I was wondering why Frisbees appear to get bigger and bigger as they get closer.



And then it hit me

 

[Aperitif]

Does it for me

 

[ACS]

A cowboy walks in to a german car showroom and says 'audi'

My mate just hired a butler with no left arm, serves him right

Apparently Santas not allowed to climb down chimneys anymore, something to do with elf and safety

So what if a can't spell armageddon, its not the end of the world!

I've got a sponge front door.............dont knock it!