Cremation but not in a sad way

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bobg

Über Member
My best friend was cremated today and we celebrated his long life with much ale and stories of happy times. It was not a time for sadness, he was a kind and generous old man who had led a happy and fulfilling life. Upon our return home, Mrs BG said ( a little merrily) that she wanted to inspect crematorium procedures before seeing me off cos she was unconvinced that given the numbers of cremations ( one every 15 minutes today ), whether it was possible to separate the ashes of each individual. She didn't want any old person in a pot on the mantle piece,.... it set me thinking?? No, surely not??
 

Night Train

Maker of Things
That would be my concern too. A tv investigation showed that animal cremations are often in bulk or completely fake so the ashes could be anything from anything.

I saw a programme on human cremation years ago and found that although the flesh burns away the major bones do not and are then removed and put through a grinder to produce the bulk of the ash content. Any metals, teeth, joints, hardware from the coffin, are removed and presumably sold off as scrap.
 

carolonabike

Senior Member
Location
Boldon
You have my sympathies, my dad died three weeks ago and we had a humanist service before the cremation, which was a celebration of a long life well lived as opposed to a mournful religious ceremony. I was surprised how comforting and uplifting it was, I can thoroughly recommend the humanist route.

As far as the ashes are concerned I'm no expert but I believe there are lots of safeguards to ensure ashes don't get mixed up, although I'm not sure it matters really...
 
OP
OP
bobg

bobg

Über Member
Thanks NT and Carol, that's satisfied her. If she died first I was considering suspending some of her ashes in a plastic bag in the downtube of my Basso. We could go on rides together, that'd be a first :tongue:
Sorry to hear about your Dad Carol, it's a difficult time but saying goodbye with a smile and a wave is surely the way to go.
Ironic that my old friend was a ships engineer for 50 years and it was asbestos in the lagging that got him.
 

ColinJ

Puzzle game procrastinator!
Sorry to hear about your pal, Bob, and your dad, Carol. My mum died at Christmas 2010 and it still upsets me. This afternoon, I found a CD containing lots of photos taken at my mum's last birthday party in June 2010, about 2 months before she became terminally ill. I can't bring myself to look at them yet ... :sad:

The ashes thing is all symbolic isn't it! Maybe it's nicer to think of different lots of ashes being kept apart, but I'm not losing any sleep over whether my parents' were theirs alone. As far as I was concerned, we took the ashes to be scattered, and those acts had meaning, but they were only ashes, not people.

A friend of mine told me that when he scattered his dad's ashes from an East Yorkshire clifftop, a sea breeze blew them back over the mourners. I was very conscious of that story when I went to scatter my mum's ashes in the sea near her home village. My family were standing about 10 feet back, and there was a really strong, gusting wind blowing towards them. I didn't want to take any chances so I waded into the water up to my knees and opened the container underwater and scattered them like that.
 

Night Train

Maker of Things
I remember my brother's cremation. As we were scattering his ashes the funeral director noted that we didn't need a fancy urn. When I picked up his ashes it came in a plastic container in the same shape as the big glass jars that sweet shops used to have for the Qtr of cola cubes!

It was heavier the I expected and I nearly dropped it when it was handed over.
When we scattered his ashes, off the Milestone Buttress at Tryfan opposite Lynn Ogwen in Snowdonia, I noticed it was like scattering gritty sand.
 

coffeejo

Ælfrēd
Location
West Somerset
My great-grandmother's ashes lived in my wardrobe for nearly a decade when I was a kid. I still don't know why, of all the places in the house, it was decided that my wardrobe was the best place, but it was great for terrifying my friends.
 

ColinJ

Puzzle game procrastinator!
It may be symbolic but speaking for myself I'd still like to be chatting to Mrs BGs remains rather that the miserable sod across the road.
But in that case, miserable old sod's family would have the remains of someone nice to chat to! :whistle:
 
Many questions are asked about cremation, most peoples idea of what goes on behind the scenes is often arrived at through myth and mis-information. i.e Bodies being removed from coffins and then the coffins being re-used!

But i found this on a website which may answer the OP question:

How are cremated remains kept separate?

A cremator can only accept one coffin at a time and all the remains are removed from the cremator before the next cremation. An identity card is used throughout the whole process until the final disposal, thereby ensuring correct identification.
What happens to the cremated remains after cremation?
The law relating to cremation requires that cremated remains are disposed of in accordance with the written instructions of the applicant (usually the executor or nearest surviving relative). Most crematoria have a range of options which might include scattering or burying in the garden of remembrance, placing in a columbarium, interring in a small family vault or niche. Options for memorials are also available which might include plaques, beneath rose bushes, trees or shrubs and memorial benches with plaques. The simplest form of memorial is an entry inscribed in a book of remembrance. Your nearest crematorium will provide details of their facilities.
Cremated remains may also be buried in family graves that are full for coffined burials. Alternatively you may be able to purchase a new cremated remains grave in a cemetery.
There is no need to make a hurried decision with regard the final resting place of the remains with most crematoria having a facility to hold the remains until a decision is made. Should a crematorium not be contacted with a decision after a period of time has elapsed you may receive a letter asking if you are ready to go ahead. If you are not, simply tell the crematorium that you need more time (a fee may be applicable). Should a crematorium receive no reply to their letter they may legally scatter or bury the cremated remains within their grounds after giving 2 weeks written notice.
Can more than one body be cremated at a time?

No, each cremation is carried out separately. The aperture through which the coffin passes in the cremator and the cremation chamber are of dimensions that will only safely accept one coffin. However, exceptions can be made in the case of a mother and baby or small twin children, so long as the next of kin or executor has made this specific request.
Most crematoria will allow public inspection of the ‘behind the scenes’ procedures in an attempt to enlighten the public on all aspects of the cremation process.
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
I saw a programme on human cremation years ago and found that although the flesh burns away the major bones do not and are then removed and put through a grinder

And that grinder is called a cremulator, fact fans....

When my dear friend was cremated, his Mum let me have a portion of the ashes, I have them still, in a special casket I made from a Sturmey Archer hub case (with the help of a friend with a lathe to make the end caps). Having been trained in bones during my archeaology degrees, when I decanted the ashes, I could recognise the structure of some of the slightly larger pieces (still only the size of something like instant coffee granules) as the internal structure of bone. I guess finding the whole thing interesting was one of my ways of coping with the loss.

We haven't decided what to do with the rest, I think maybe they'll go in the fire of 35006 P and O when she finally steams again, as he'd worked on her restoration as a volunteer.
 

AnythingButVanilla

Über Member
Location
London
We buried my grans ashes the day after her cremation and as I carried them through the town from the funeral directors back to the car I was aware of how light the box was. She died of cancer and was down to about four stone at the end but I was still expecting something more substantial.
 
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