Criteria for avoiding films

[OskarTennisChampion]

All that middle earth pish.Lord of the rings,Hobbit,Terry Pratchett type stuff.
And Harry Potter,which seems to be a wizards and goblins version of Winker Watson

 

[swee'pea99]

1. Won't watch any film with a digit at the end of the title as it displays a distinct lack of imagination

The Madness of George III was renamed The Madness of King George for the screen, lest Americans think 'Oh, well I never saw the first two, so I won't bother.'

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

Here's the list of fillums I have gone to see (excluding taking my kids to various kids stuff) in the last 20 years:
Braveheart (1995)
Dad's Army (2016)

 

[jefmcg]

Here's the list of fillums I have gone to see (excluding taking my kids to various kids stuff) in the last 20 years:
Braveheart (1995)
Dad's Army (2016)

bummer

 

[jonny jeez]

Watched it before I invented the rules!

I think your life would improve immeasurably, if you didn't restrict your experiences with preconception.

 

[Lullabelle]

Chic flicks, anything with 'macho men' single handedly taking on the bad guys with unbeliebeable fight scenes etc... boring.

 

[John the Monkey]

...anything with 'macho men' single handedly taking on the bad guys with unbeliebeable fight scenes etc... boring.

There's a flying armbar in "Flashpoint" that's so damned unlikely that it still has me hooting with joy even now. And I've seen that loads.

(Falls afoul of the action movie rule, and someone else's subtitle rule).

 

[jefmcg]

There's a flying armbar in "Flashpoint" that's so damned unlikely that it still has me hooting with joy even now. And I've seen that loads.

(Falls afoul of the action movie rule, and someone else's subtitle rule).

There's a fantastic moment in an old Chow Yun-Fat movie, where Chow runs out of bullets so ejects the magazines from both hand guns and his colleague throws him two fresh magazines that land precisely in the handles of the guns and apparently click into place so he continues firing a moment later.

What's not to like?

And don't complain (not you, @John the Monkey) about subtitles if you've never watch an old HK movie. The law demanded all films be subtitled in English, so companies would do them for $US100. The subtitles are uniformly awful. Even during dialogue in English, the subtitles do not match exactly what is being said, and are sometimes completely nonsensical. Worth it though, for the balletic action scenes and kung fu.

 

[Mugshot]

Didn't want to pollute the "What film did you watch last night?" thread with this, but needed to share...

There are several rules a film has to pass before I'll invest time watching it.


1. Won't watch any film with a digit at the end of the title as it displays a distinct lack of imagination (i.e. Police Academy 34).
Edit: The digit must indicate Another in the same series as a previous film.

2. Won't watch any film with "vs" in the title as it shows excessive greed in wanting to cash in on existing franchises (i.e. Batman vs Superman)

3. Won't watch any film staring Jean Claude Van Damme or Steven Seagal.

4. Won't watch any film that has the words "One woman's journey" anywhere in the description.

5. Won't watch any films with Zombies, werewolves or vampires in them as I'm unable to suspend my disbelief.

Edit: 6. Any Star Wars film. I just don't get what all the fuss is about. Have never managed to watch one all the way through.

There are of course exceptions to the rules (in very rare cases). Terminator 2 for instance, which to me is far better than the original.

So. What other films have I missed out on that don't satisfy my criteria, and what additional rules would you add?

Graham

I can't be bothered to read throught the thread so if this has already been brought up then just add my name to the list;
You and I will NOT be going on a date sir!!

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

I can't be bothered to read throught the thread so if this has already been brought up then just add my name to the list;
You and I will NOT be going on a date sir!!

Oh well. I suppose the journey to West Wales wouldn't have left much cash for popcorn anyway.

 

[Vapin' Joe]

Any film based on an original idea that was tongue in cheek but is now presented in a dark and serious manner.

For example, Batman and all related superhero stuff are pure fantasy tales aimed mainly at kids. To "Upgrade" Batman into some sort of intellectual tale which is relevant to real life is just plainly ridiculous. FFS, a guy who dresses like a bat and goes round taking on the most improbable collection of villains clearly has a screw loose, as do the adults who lap it up and believe in it. The TV series from the sixties and the cinema spin offs were the only ones to have got it right, outrageously camp and with plenty of humour that would appeal to adults while still entertaining the kids.

And Superman - Clark Kent takes his glasses off, puts on a lycra skinsuit and even his closest friends don't recognise him.

James Bond is another - such an improbable secret agent is played for laughs and spectacular stunts and effects. Roger Moore got it right, the latter ones have lost the plot.

 

[Mugshot]

Oh well. I suppose the journey to West Wales wouldn't have left much cash for popcorn anyway.

It would have been my treat

 

[Yellow Saddle]

I will rather overhaul my bottom bracket and scrub my chain with my own toothbrush than watch anything with Tom Cruize or any of his relatives in it.

A true nightmare for me would be a 3D animated Tom Cruize film with Celine Dion doing the opening song with slow panning views of a sunset on a tropical beach with subtitles and a cameo appearance with Claude van Damme.

 

[vickster]

I will rather overhaul my bottom bracket and scrub my chain with my own toothbrush than watch anything with Tom Cruize or any of his relatives in it.
.

@Fnaar

 

[jefmcg]

Stallone

Cop Land
(it bombed so he went back to HGH and mindless action movies)