Criteria for avoiding films

[flake99please]

Avoid anything with Tom Green or Jim Carey.

 

[jefmcg]

Any James Bond films. They are all the same and so predictable.

http://www.ew.com/article/2016/03/24/archer-reviews-james-bond

(not sure if that would work better for bond haters, or lovers)

 

[YahudaMoon]

Edited

 

[SpokeyDokey]

Anything from the USA described as eg "laugh out loud funny" - they never are.

Anything from the USA that lauds just how *leeding wonderful they are at absolutely anything.

Anything from the USA that has a theme of 'leaders of the free world'.

Anything from the USA that involves 'Hollywood Royalty' of the has been variety cashing in with a few crap last payday films.

Anything from the USA with stirring gushy anthemic USA style music that breaks out whenever 'Old Glory' hoves into view.

Anything from the USA that features puke inducing boys aged about 10 with ringlets or bobs.

There's probably more.

 

[NorthernDave]

Didn't want to pollute the "What film did you watch last night?" thread with this, but needed to share...

There are several rules a film has to pass before I'll invest time watching it.


1. Won't watch any film with a digit at the end of the title as it displays a distinct lack of imagination (i.e. Police Academy 34).
Edit: The digit must indicate Another in the same series as a previous film.

2. Won't watch any film with "vs" in the title as it shows excessive greed in wanting to cash in on existing franchises (i.e. Batman vs Superman)

3. Won't watch any film staring Jean Claude Van Damme or Steven Seagal.

4. Won't watch any film that has the words "One woman's journey" anywhere in the description.

5. Won't watch any films with Zombies, werewolves or vampires in them as I'm unable to suspend my disbelief.

Edit: 6. Any Star Wars film. I just don't get what all the fuss is about. Have never managed to watch one all the way through.

There are of course exceptions to the rules (in very rare cases). Terminator 2 for instance, which to me is far better than the original.

So. What other films have I missed out on that don't satisfy my criteria, and what additional rules would you add?

Graham

So you've never seen Streetfighter II, or any of the Resident Evil movies?

 

[NorthernDave]

Anything from the USA described as eg "laugh out loud funny" - they never are.

Anything from the USA that lauds just how *leeding qonderful they are at absolutely anything.

Anything from the USA that has a theme of 'leaders of the free world'.

Anything from the USA that involves 'Hollywood Royalty' of the has been variety cashing in with a few crap last payday films.

Anything from the USA with stirring gushy anthemic USA style music that breaks out whenever 'Old Glory' hoves into view.

Anything from the USA that features puke inducing boys aged about 10 with ringlets or bobs.

There's probably more.

Have you seen "Team America: World Police"?

 

[jefmcg]

Edited

Anything from the USA described as eg "laugh out loud funny" - they never are.

Anything from the USA that lauds just how *leeding qonderful they are at absolutely anything.

Anything from the USA that has a theme of 'leaders of the free world'.

Anything from the USA that involves 'Hollywood Royalty' of the has been variety cashing in with a few crap last payday films.

Anything from the USA with stirring gushy anthemic USA style music that breaks out whenever 'Old Glory' hoves into view.

Anything from the USA that features puke inducing boys aged about 10 with ringlets or bobs.

There's probably more.

Not sure which of these I can understand better.

 

[speccy1]

Can`t really be bothered with films, there are one or two that I do like (and both UK made), but generally I don`t have the time or the attention span for films

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

Anything from the USA described as eg "laugh out loud funny" - they never are.

Anything from the USA that lauds just how *leeding qonderful they are at absolutely anything.

Anything from the USA that has a theme of 'leaders of the free world'.

Anything from the USA that involves 'Hollywood Royalty' of the has been variety cashing in with a few crap last payday films.

Anything from the USA with stirring gushy anthemic USA style music that breaks out whenever 'Old Glory' hoves into view.

Anything from the USA that features puke inducing boys aged about 10 with ringlets or bobs.

There's probably more.

I'm sensing a theme here.

 

[Stephenite]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1130988/

also
He was beautiful in motion.

The only film I've seen with JVCD in. Can't help but like the fella after watching it.

Back on track - I don't watch anything with Steven Seagal in. Or Adam Sandler, especially. And I don't watch bloody crime-solving shows because they're all the blummin same (except when they're outdoing one another with gratuitous ultra-violence). Especially those. Even though I very much liked River.

Anything with car chases, and running around shooting is a no-no too too.

Now the gf, who has studied film for years and won awards for her own films, will watch any old sheeite.

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

why have some stupid idiotical rules with something as trivial as a film, to me it really says a lot about someones life......

Thanks.

 

[Jaykun85]

Didn't want to pollute the "What film did you watch last night?" thread with this, but needed to share...

There are several rules a film has to pass before I'll invest time watching it.


1. Won't watch any film with a digit at the end of the title as it displays a distinct lack of imagination (i.e. Police Academy 34).
Edit: The digit must indicate Another in the same series as a previous film.

2. Won't watch any film with "vs" in the title as it shows excessive greed in wanting to cash in on existing franchises (i.e. Batman vs Superman)

3. Won't watch any film staring Jean Claude Van Damme or Steven Seagal.

4. Won't watch any film that has the words "One woman's journey" anywhere in the description.

5. Won't watch any films with Zombies, werewolves or vampires in them as I'm unable to suspend my disbelief.

Edit: 6. Any Star Wars film. I just don't get what all the fuss is about. Have never managed to watch one all the way through.

There are of course exceptions to the rules (in very rare cases). Terminator 2 for instance, which to me is far better than the original.

So. What other films have I missed out on that don't satisfy my criteria, and what additional rules would you add?

Graham

Seems like you you are limiting your film viewing dramatically.

seems you are just limiting yourself to Documentarys and the good old Charles Chaplin, Harold Lloyd, and Buster Keaton Films. Though with them you would still have to suspend your disbelief and they too are not really true to life.

They say you should never judge a book by its cover, maybe you shouldn't with films either, I have watched some Good films and some bad films but least i made an opinion on them after actually seeing them,
There are some cracking world cinema films out there and yes you would need to read subtitles but so what i think it adds to the film.
Films are meant to be an escape for entertainment.
I wonder if you use the same rules when watching tv ?

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

Seems like you you are limiting your film viewing dramatically.
seems you are just limiting yourself to Documentarys and the good old Charles Chaplin, Harold Lloyd, and Buster Keaton Films. Though with them you would still have to suspend your disbelief and they too are not really true to life.

I must admit. Much like Blackadder I'm tempted to add Chaplin films to my list.

They say you should never judge a book by its cover, maybe you shouldn't with films either, I have watched some Good films and some bad films but least i made an opinion on them after actually seeing them,

Well done. I think if a film doesn't appeal to me I'll give it a miss and go for a bike ride.

There are some cracking world cinema films out there and yes you would need to read subtitles but so what i think it adds to the film.

I also enjoy many subtitle films/dramas. Particularly the dark Scandinavian crime dramas.

Films are meant to be an escape for entertainment.
I wonder if you use the same rules when watching tv ?

Generally. Yes.

Thanks for taking my post in the spirit intended.

Graham

 

[Jaykun85]

haha ..

Hope didn't sound too angry as wasn't meant like that at all
I just like my films there are certain ones i won't watch them .. like the over done cheap disaster movies (Sharknado for example )
The only disaster movie i have enjoyed lately was "San Andreas"

 

[Jaykun85]

just found this and i remember seeing some of these when i was a kid

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_films_considered_the_worst

5.5 made me giggle in the list