Cyclists told to take proper drugs

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machew

Veteran
CYCLISTS have been told to take proper drugs because that might make their sport vaguely interesting.
As a new report claims that the sport is still plagued with dull performance-enhancing chemicals, experts warned the cyclists at all levels could benefit from some hallucinogens.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “If you look at the drugs being consumed in cycling, they are tedious hormones with really long names that do nothing to stimulate the mind.
“If bike riding is to shake off its image as the preserve of drab, joyless man-machines then it needs to embrace drugs like LSD and magic mushrooms, which may not improve lap times or whatever but would make it great for spectators.
“Imagine Lance Armstrong riding in just a nappy and silver body paint, like a member of Parliament, tripping so hard his third eye is clearly visible on his forehead.
“He’s so farked he lifts off and cycles into the sky, trailing stardust behind him.
“I would watch that.”
Amateur cyclist Roy Hobbs said: “I was dabbling with EPO to increase my physical stamina.
“Then someone gave me some MDMA. I immediately realised that cycling is futile and just lay on the roadside, grinning like a loon and feeling so alive.”

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/cyclists-told-to-take-proper-drugs-2015030996071
 

Crandoggler

Senior Member
Sounds awesome.
 
D

Deleted member 1258

Guest
I recon that the appearance of that yellow sphere in the sky and its heat have gone to some peoples heads.
 

snorri

Legendary Member
It's bad enough having these sporting cyclists give the rest of us a bad name, but it's even worse when people who should know better fail to differentiate between sport and other cyclists:angry:.
 

cisamcgu

Legendary Member
Location
Merseyside-ish
*laughs* - some people cannot recognise humour if it pokes them in the eye (third one or not)

:smile:
 

cyberknight

As long as I breathe, I attack.
Wouldn't work for Froomey, he'd just spend even longer staring at his stem.
It would explain a lot if he had a stem cap ...
psilocybe-semilanceata7.jpg
 
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