Daft footballer's names. These are all real!

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PaulB

Legendary Member
Location
Colne
We all have our favourites but some of these made me chuckle. Apparently, Segar Bastard was a 19th century England international who later became a referee (no, seriously) although it's not known if this is where the "who's the bastard in the black" chant comes from. Also, the wonderfully subriquet-ed Argelico ****s was responsible for the unforgettable Eurosport headline, "Argelico ****s off to Barcelona".
  1. Stefan Kuntz
  2. Chiqui Arce
  3. Bongo Christ
  4. Have-a-Look Dube
  5. Ars Bandeet
  6. Segar Bastard
  7. Rafael Scheidt
  8. Rod Fanni
  9. Johnny Moustache
  10. David Goodwillie
  11. Danny Shittu
  12. Johan de Cock
  13. Milan Fukal
  14. Quim
  15. Brian Pinas
  16. Bernt Haas
  17. Uwe Fuchs
  18. Two-Boys Gladstone Gamede
  19. Wolfgang Wolf
  20. Creedence Clearwater Couto
  21. Norman Conquest
  22. Danger Fourpence
  23. Paul Dickov
  24. Argelico ****s
  25. Harry Daft

Read more: http://soccerlens.com/funny-player-names/17311/#ixzz0N8wyma6I
 

nigelnorris

Well-Known Member
Location
Birmingham
Ars Bandeet def made up.
 

dav1d

Guru
The previous editor of the Beano is called Euan Kerr, think he made it into some book of daft names.
 

nigelnorris

Well-Known Member
Location
Birmingham
PaulB said:
Wikipedia mentions him also.
It does?
 
Rafael Scheidt Rafael was Scheidt by name, and sh1te by nature. Signed by John Barnes for just under 5 million, the Brazilian defender was spectacularly bad. He played less than 90 minutes in total and was farmed out by Martin O'Neill after the Irishman witnessed him in action during a friendly in Ireland.

That just about sums up Raphael Phillippe; the only Brazilian who couldn't play football.
 

strofiwimple

Veteran
Location
sunderland
Brett Angell, maybe not the funniest name but his ability as a footballer was! He was about 6'2" and when he jumped for a header he miraculously became 5'2" some trick.
 
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