Difficult start

[DCLane]

[QUOTE 5156707, member: 10119"]... alternating between a face like thunder and looking a bit like a sulky toddler on the edge of tears. It took a couple of iterations of the conversation before I could establish ...[/QUOTE]

That's pretty common with my 17yo, although as he's understanding more about himself and others this happens less often. However he still lacks the confidence to initiate the conversations where things aren't right for him.

 

[Drago]

Very true. But, at the end of the day, everyone has their limits. We're only human after all.

Them having a bad day is their problem, not the customers. They'll have an even worse day when the customers stop coming.

 

[Dirk]

Tripadvisor review would raise the profile of their appalling behaviour for others.

I would make sure that any negative review on TripAdvisor was very carefully worded. Some people aren't afraid to take action for libel.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

I would make sure that any negative review on TripAdvisor was very carefully worded. Some people aren't afraid to take action for libel.

They could put it down to just being human, and therefore shrug and move on...

 

[r04DiE]

Maybe they were just having a bad day like most humans do sometimes?

This is a bad day. This person didn't go and treat vulnerable people like they were less than NT people afterwards. Read this and you might have some idea of how people like the OP manage 'bad days'.

 

[Dirk]

They could put it down to just being human, and therefore shrug and move on...

.........or not, as the case maybe.
If you are going to be negative about any business, it's best to exercise caution. Step back, take a deep breath and fully analyse the gist of your complaint. Remove the emotion. Make absolutely sure of your facts and be prepared to back them up with hard evidence. Only proceed if you are absolutely certain you have an objective case that stands up to scrutiny. Otherwise, keep it to yourself and walk away.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

If you are going to be negative about any business, it's best to exercise caution.

Tesco are shite.

I await the correspondence.

 

[Dirk]

Tesco are shite.

I await the correspondence.

LOL.*


*I would like to point out that the like was for the audacity of your post - not for agreeing with the content.

 

[Easytigers]

Maybe not an excuse but a possible explanation.
The OP didn't state that they were actually asked to leave, just that the - ' the manageress came and made it very clear that we should leave by giving Abi evil looks and tutting disapprovingly!'
That seems, on the face of it, to be a subjective take on the scenario.

That's very true... we were not asked to leave and having had a day to calm down, realise that she might just have been having a bad day. However, in my job, you can't have a 'bad day' and although sometimes, I've got a lot of stuff going on, I still put what I call 'The Mask' on and give the people I work with, the best experience I can. We weren't asked to leave but it's difficult to eat a meal with someone stood over you tutting and giving you dirty looks...that certainly isn't what we were paying for, or expecting from a restaurant.

 

[gbb]

I count myself extremely fortunate that I have not been subject to such abuse. I can also see that poor training and lack of experience may play a part in how sone businesses treat people.

That, in my opinion would be the likely cause. The solution, however, is not to condone, but to confront and educate.

Of course that’s easily done from my arm chair in hot, sunny London and not with an upset family and another day ruined by thoughtlessness.

OP, it is not your job to educate Britain, but I dare say you have every member here supporting you should choose to do so on occasion. We stand with you and your family.

Just about bang on. Sadly it's not always the staff who get it wrong. I've seen customers shuffle and look awkward in similar circumstances. I've thought, FFS, get a life, eat your meal and let them eat theirs in peace, were all here to enjoy ourselves. It can really make me sad...and angry.

Hope your day improved Easytigers

 

[Easytigers]

This is a bad day. This person didn't go and treat vulnerable people like they were less than NT people afterwards. Read this and you might have some idea of how people like the OP manage 'bad days'.

This person's experience is a bit different to ours...as I'm sure anyone with autistic kids will find the same but there was a lot in there that I can totally identify with...thank you for sharing with me

 

[User10119]

This person's experience is a bit different to ours

Yeah... as they say,
View attachment 396651
But I think understanding a bit about the spectrum, even about a bit of it, can help people to understand and accept. I don't personally know the difficulties of raising a non-verbal child but I can empathise with them anyway.

 

[r04DiE]

This person's experience is a bit different to ours...as I'm sure anyone with autistic kids will find the same but there was a lot in there that I can totally identify with...thank you for sharing with me

You are very welcome.

 

[User10119]

Do people with different needs find more understanding in larger cities or is that simply not how it works?

Tbh, I dunno!
My kids (one aspie, one with sensory processing issues and possi-probably some other stuff going on) are OK with cities and so on, at least with me there to help navigate and mediate. We struggled with NYC, but were fine in Paris and regularly go to London - or at least, specific bits of London. I dread to think how many hours I have spent in the Science Museum over the years. I have a friend whose eldest is autistic and whose youngest has a different bag of barriers, and they just don't do big or busy places because it's too difficult. I have adult friends on the spectrum who happily get by in London, and others who choose to hermit away in rural obscurity.

I imagine that most of the not neuro-typical bods you probably encounter day to day are the people who have found the strategies that allow them to get along with their lives in that environment. There will be others for whom those environments are too disabling, but you'll probably not see them.

 

[User10119]

Just about bang on. Sadly it's not always the staff who get it wrong. I've seen customers shuffle and look awkward in similar circumstances. I've thought, FFS, get a life, eat your meal and let them eat theirs in peace, were all here to enjoy ourselves. It can really make me sad...and angry.

Hope your day improved Easytigers

And when you see that kid "misbehaving" you generally have absolutely no way of knowing what's behind it; of course they might be a badly behaved - or poorly parented - little horror but there could just as easily be something else going on. These days I mostly try to offer a bit of (at least moral) support if I can - whether that's just a 'yeah, I've been there too' smile at a parent or actually asking if there is something I can do. Because, apart from anything else, whatever the cause, me putting on my McJudgey pants isn't going to help the situation!