Can't see that twunt Gove going for that one
Don't worry, be happy (and how to do it)
- Thread starter fimm
- Start date
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asterix
Comrade Member
- Location
- Limoges or York
Early in my career I worked in shipping and we used to send stuff. Big stuff. If misdirected the consequences could be bad, very bad. One sunny w/end the worst happened: I'd sent a fridge container to a cold store that wasn't open! I spent the rest of the day trying desperately to find a taker before a valuable consignment became an expensive liability. Luckily for me the haulage company got something sorted out and when I turned up Monday morning all was well, my worst fears weren't realised. After a few years in the profession I was immune to such concerns, bad things happened but like Boris Becker said : Nobody died. I only lost a tennis match, nothing more.
Spinney
Bimbleur extraordinaire
- Location
- Back up north
Agree, many worries are not all that bad on the grand scheme of things - but the point is that if you are a 'worrier' (esp if linked with depression etc), you can tell yourself that, but it doesn't stop you worrying. If only it did!
Andrew_Culture
Internet Marketing bod
- Location
- The People's Republic Of Suffolk.
Indeed. A friend of mine said 'in 300 years time nobody will care about the mistakes I've made'.
In my experience trying to figure out life by thinking the worst has never helped me prepare. I took £250k of machinery to an exhibition in Munich last year and was heinously stressed about the whole event, trying to second-guess what might go wrong and how I could fix it. When we got there the very worst happened, we tipped over a 1.5 ton machine worth £22k and badly damaged it. Nothing I had worried about prepared me for fixing that situation, but in the event of the very worst happening I was super-calm and even although nobody around me spoke English I managed to get enough fork-lift trucks and expertise around me to get the machine upright five minutes before the business owner (my boss) arrived on the scene.
None of the worrying I had done beforehand helped me in the slightest.
GrumpyGregry
Here for rides.
Mindfullness was suggested to me when I was learning to be a CBT coach. I bought a very approachable book, read it twice thinking "Is that all there is to it?", before the penny dropped that what we think is, at least in part, and at least part of the time, a matter of choice.
Meditation was taught me by a priest when I was a kid.
Lots of different yoga classes in Edinburgh to try, with a big spectrum in styles, you can get everything from 'sport/power yoga' to the more meditative types, and anything in between. Every teacher is different, you need to find one that suits you. Most places allow you to try out a class rather than having to sign up for a series. Edinburgh Leisure have some excellent teachers, for example, or there are classes in various places around the Meadows, Bruntsfield, Portobello. Council evening classes are good value, but you do have to sign up for a whole term (~10 classes, they should start again around now).
I've had (and still have, but not so extreme anymore) too much work to do in my job, and regular yoga over the last few years has really helped me to sort out any kinks from too much sitting at a desk and staring at a screen, helped me sleep better and made me worry about things a lot less and go with the flow. If something isn't possible in the given time, I'll just do my best and not exhaust myself trying to do the impossible. It's also given me some core strength and stronger arms, and generally improved all my sports related activities, from cycling to cross-country skiing etc. - would highly recommend it!
Good luck!
T
I've had (and still have, but not so extreme anymore) too much work to do in my job, and regular yoga over the last few years has really helped me to sort out any kinks from too much sitting at a desk and staring at a screen, helped me sleep better and made me worry about things a lot less and go with the flow. If something isn't possible in the given time, I'll just do my best and not exhaust myself trying to do the impossible. It's also given me some core strength and stronger arms, and generally improved all my sports related activities, from cycling to cross-country skiing etc. - would highly recommend it!
Good luck!
T
Nigel-YZ1
Guru
- Location
- Somewhere else... maybe soon.
I've been going to Tai Chi classes for about three years.
It calms the mind, improves balance, and rewires your brain to help with a more relaxed attitude to life.
I am a depressive by nature, so in my situation it has worked miracles.
The other big help was cycling.
It calms the mind, improves balance, and rewires your brain to help with a more relaxed attitude to life.
I am a depressive by nature, so in my situation it has worked miracles.
The other big help was cycling.
Lesley Elder
New Member
- Location
- Edinburgh
Hi, I'm running a class specifically for runners and cyclists in Dalkeith rugby club. It's on Monday nights at 7pm, costs £5 and you don't need to sign up for a full schedule.. just come when you can. We do a lot on flexibility but also on breathing and focus as well. The biggest benefit seems to be in sorting out lower back pain.. :-)
Last edited by a moderator:
Thank you for that, but Dalkeith isn't an easy place for me to get to...
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
This is supposed to help. Allegedly.....
Well, a small one in the morning in India recently happily got me through the day when I was surrounded by Scousers and Russians.
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
You can easily eliminate one worry by asking yourself 'where do I want to go at Christmas?'
Ganymede
Veteran
- Location
- Rural Kent
I was taught not to worry by my husband's example. Several times during our early married life he saw me get upset and worried and he would just say something like "listen, if you can't do anything about it, you can either stand around being upset about it, or just stop worrying and do something else". It's not that he dismisses problems, but he could see that my tendency to brood on things was not making me happy, and the dear chap wanted me to be happy (and stop grumbling, probably!).
I also had a (pre-mobile phone) breakthough about trains which is quite applicable: If you miss a train, you can't do anything about it. You have to just sit down and wait for the next one. You can choose to make the wait a horrible, tense, cross time or you can read the paper, or look at the sky, or plan your novel. Only one of these choices will enhance your mood!
I have not become totally worry-free but have been able to put things in perspective. Age has helped! But I am from a family which worries incessantly and I think you can be trained by your family into bad habits of thought in exactly the same way as you can be trained into bad habits of eating etc. I've now been married to OH for a lot longer than I was with my parents, so his influence prevails. The key thing is that you can decide not to be like that, which I think you've already done. Good luck!
I also had a (pre-mobile phone) breakthough about trains which is quite applicable: If you miss a train, you can't do anything about it. You have to just sit down and wait for the next one. You can choose to make the wait a horrible, tense, cross time or you can read the paper, or look at the sky, or plan your novel. Only one of these choices will enhance your mood!
I have not become totally worry-free but have been able to put things in perspective. Age has helped! But I am from a family which worries incessantly and I think you can be trained by your family into bad habits of thought in exactly the same way as you can be trained into bad habits of eating etc. I've now been married to OH for a lot longer than I was with my parents, so his influence prevails. The key thing is that you can decide not to be like that, which I think you've already done. Good luck!
