Emotional reaction to bad news threads.

[oldfatfool]

Tbh i get more emotional about the death or news of mal treatment of a hound than a stranger i have never met or heard of, other than possibly a young child.

 

[Nigeyy]

Bit of a tough set of answers, I mean you can feel emotional at a story, but it could go either way depending on who it is, and of course you can still empathize.....

I also think sometimes you can feel sad at someone's passing not so much because the person has passed, but because it's more emblematic of a passing of part of your life (e.g. you grew up with David Bowie's or Freddie Mercury's music, and with their passing you are perhaps more "mourning" the passing of a part of your life).

Then on the other hand I can say I feel sad at some people's passing who I've never known nor represented a part of my life (Nicholas Winton springs to mind). There's also sometimes news in threads that if there is a personal connection, can have an emotional effect -e.g. reading about something dear to your heart, even if you don't know the person.

However, I will say I've never felt grief and sadness of the same magnitude in comparison to close family members or people I've known personally. And of course I think I do have empathy for any family that loses a loved one. When I see some news stories of some celebrities or similar passing I just don't understand the outpouring of such extreme grief from "fans", as though they have lost a close loved one (don't meant to sound harsh, but the words "get a life" do come to mind). To each their own.

 

[RWright]

Some bother me more than others. Tonight for example, those kids(and adults) that died at the concert in Manchester, that bothers me quite a bit. Thinking about the parents who's kids won't be coming home from that concert and how they must be suffering. I am not sure I would feel human if that did not bother me some.

 

[User33236]

Some bother me more than others. Tonight for example, those kids(and adults) that died at the concert in Manchester, that bothers me quite a bit. Thinking about the parents who's kids won't be coming home from that concert and how they must be suffering. I am not sure I would feel human if that did not bother me some.

That's the bit that bothers me; it doesn't 'bother me some' despite it happening less than six miles from my front door.

Some friends, and colleagues, as visibly shaken this morning by it.

 

[Sandra6]

In general a famous person's death doesn't have any effect on me. Despite their fame, I didn'tknow them and I am not affected by their death.
Sometimes I feel a bit shocked, and I can appreciate the loss for their family, or to their industry, but I wouldn't shed a tear.
Other things, like last night's atrocity in Manchester, however, do upset me, because they are real people, people you could know, and there's that "could've been me" which makes it far too real.
If a forum member posts of a loss I do feel genuine sorrow for them, but I'm not personally upset by it.

 

[Beebo]

That's the bit that bothers me; it doesn't 'bother me some' despite it happening less than six miles from my front door.

Some friends, and colleagues, as visibly shaken this morning by it.

I dont know how old you are, or whether you have kids, but in my experience it makes a big difference.
I didnt have kids when James Bulger or the Soham girls were killed and I can honestly say it passed me by as just another item on the news. Now i have kids i look back on those incidents with absolute horror.
My daughter is 10 now, and keeps asking to go to various concerts, we havent let her yet, but it will only be a matter of time before she goes to one.

 

[Sharky]

One death which did get me emotional was when I heard on the radio that Tommy Simpson had collapsed and subsequently died. I was only 17 myself and was at the start of my cycling and hero's like that just don't die. I now know the factors contributing to his fate, but at the time was quite a shock and still think about it today. Coming up 50years - July 13th

 

[User33236]

I dont know how old you are, or whether you have kids, but in my experience it makes a big difference.
I didnt have kids when James Bulger or the Soham girls were killed and I can honestly say it passed me by as just another item on the news. Now i have kids i look back on those incidents with absolute horror.
My daughter is 10 now, and keeps asking to go to various concerts, we havent let her yet, but it will only be a matter of time before she goes to one.

I have two older kids myself which, along with my wife, are probably the only three people on the planet I can feel emotional with.

As said upthread I was exposed to death at a reasonably young age and I was the one who woke one morning to find my grandfather dead in the next bed. Oddly my first though was 'how do I break the news to my still sleeping mother without annoying her?' and an hour later I'm heading off to school.

I never experienced any grief over that incident, or indeed any other grandparent, uncle, cousin.

In some ways I think I'm 'broken' by early life experiences.

 

[Globalti]

The worst aspect of an unexpected death is thinking about the effect on those who will be mourning. Often in Lagos I see bodies of well-dressed men and women lying by the road where they've been hit while dashing across the road and apart from the shock of seeing a body, sometimes badly smashed up, I get quite upset thinking about the children waiting at home for Mummy or Daddy to come home and never knowing what happened.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Other things, like last night's atrocity in Manchester, however, do upset me, because they are real people, people you could know, and there's that "could've been me" which makes it far too real.

Agreed.
I do work at the Scottish Event Campus (Secc), it could have been me going in for a shift and getting blown up.
A student girl I helped with her bike was at the Manchester concert, I never even knew she comes from Manchester until I saw her post on FB!
Some news can affect you indirectly, but I still say vague celebrities passing does not make me feel sad.

 

[Saluki]

Tbh i get more emotional about the death or news of mal treatment of a hound than a stranger i have never met or heard of, other than possibly a young child.

A close friend of mine's dog has just died and this affected me more than I expected when I read her post on FB. Not seen her or dog for a couple of years but will go and see if she needs a hug on Thursday when I'm in her area. I get upset when people try and put videos of any animal cruelty up and it ends up on my FB feed. There are things you cannot unsee and I just don't want to see. I know that they happen but I don't need to see the visuals.
Reading about the deaths of actors, pop stars, sports people maybe not so much. The death of Freddie Mercury quite upset me as I have always been a big Queen fan, the death of Justin Fashanu also upset me as he used to live in our village and I did know him. Like me, he was a Barnado's child.

However, if I am having a really bad time of it and someone I admire, from the public eye, dies, it can bring me lower. I'm not a total heartless cow.

 

[User33236]

Thread resurrection:

Got a Whatapp message from my daughter yesterday evening saying "It is true? Ding dong the witch is dead?".

My first reaction was to laugh before asking for the source of information that my mother has died. It appears this occurred several days ago and my daughter learned of it via Farcebook from my younger sister. Fast forward 24hrs and I am still non-plussed by the news. I have no intention of attending her funeral which, I believe (again from 3rd hand news on FB) is sometime next week as I have never attended one where anyone dared say something bad about the department and I do not wish to contribute to thst myth.

Serious question now: I am, overall, happy in life whilst somewhat aware that I am memtally broken and my lack of emotion is not quite normal. Should I just go along merrily as I am or seek counselling to get to the root of the problem?

 

[stephec]

If you're happy with how you are, and it's not causing any problems, then no.

If you think it's holding you back and eating away at you then there's nothing to lose by doing something about it.

Everyone's different, just because you're not the same as other people it doesn't mean you're wrong.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Thread resurrection:

Got a Whatapp message from my daughter yesterday evening saying "It is true? Ding dong the witch is dead?".

My first reaction was to laugh before asking for the source of information that my mother has died. It appears this occurred several days ago and my daughter learned of it via Farcebook from my younger sister. Fast forward 24hrs and I am still non-plussed by the news. I have no intention of attending her funeral which, I believe (again from 3rd hand news on FB) is sometime next week as I have never attended one where anyone dared say something bad about the department and I do not wish to contribute to thst myth.

Serious question now: I am, overall, happy in life whilst somewhat aware that I am memtally broken and my lack of emotion is not quite normal. Should I just go along merrily as I am or seek counselling to get to the root of the problem?

If you are aware you are broken and feel certain things are not quite normal where is the harm in seeking the fix?

 

[User33236]

If you're happy with how you are, and it's not causing any problems, then no.

If you think it's holding you back and eating away at you then there's nothing to lose by doing something about it.

Everyone's different, just because you're not the same as other people it doesn't mean you're wrong.

In no way do I feel it's holding me back. Simply curious to whats broke though