Exploding Rats!

Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.


New Member
Saw the Mother in Law last weekend. Was aware it had been the anniversary of the death of her mother in the previous days. Enquired how the day had passed, out of politeness you understand. Then followed a tale which had me crying with laughter, much to her obvious disdain! It went like this.

She got off the bus near the crem where late mother's ashes been sprinkled. No pavement as a country location. She is standing with back to hedge, facing side of bus. Bus moves off. M-in-L hears a single loud pop. Not sure what it was. Peering thru specs, notices a rather rose tinted effect which she hadn't been aware of before.

Looks down to find all manner of intestinal/giblet type deposits hanging limply from her smart new trews and highly polished shoes! Horror fills her mind as she realises the "tint" on her specs is actually animal blood, and she is spattered with blood and guts from the rat, whose head the bus had just driven over, thereby forcing the air contained within, to one end of said vermin, resulting in an explosive reaction, a loud popping noise, and shower of innards over the M-in-Law! I thought this hilarious as I pictured the scene in my mind - several times!

Now she is a fervent animal lover (rats, snakes, wasps, mosquitoes, the lot). We often argue about what I consider to be her misplaced priorities, (y'know care for humans first, and once all that is sorted (which it never is), then look after the animals, that sort of thing). Well despite her obvious shock of the rats-blood shower she had endured, she was more angry with the fact the "idiot bus driver" had squashed poor old ratty. Of course I pointed out that he had performed a service to society by ridding it of one more disease ridden, pointless, oxygen wasting vermin, and he should be commended. Fuel to the flames perhaps? Oh yes! It was such fun to see her rise to the bait yet again.

Anyway the funniest bit was at the end. Due to her advancing years and deteriorating near vision, she only discovered that the rats guts and blood had extended upwards and had spattered her jacket, from the abdomen upwards, after she got back onto the bus on the return journey. What the mourners at the funeral service at the crem must have thought when she walked past them, I can only imagine!


Ride It Like You Stole It!
South Manchester
Classic ! LOL
Top Bottom