Fab Foodie
hanging-on in quiet desperation ...
- Location
- Kirton, Devon.
>
> These are genuine clips from council complaint letters
>
> * My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus
> growing in it.
>
> * He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't
> take it anymore.
>
> * It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
>
> * I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my
> knob off.
>
> * I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put
> his foot in the hole in his back passage.
>
> * And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my
> fence.
>
> * I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I
> think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
>
> * My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
>
> * I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
>
> * Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and
> fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
>
> * I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
>
> * 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain
> filthy.
>
> * I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
>
> * The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared
>
> * Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and
> not fit to drink.
>
> * Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
>
> * I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am
> his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
>
> * The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
> unsightly and dangerous.
>
> * Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so
> please send someone round to do something about it.
>
> * I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do
> something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
>
> * Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
> wife.
>
> * I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have
> no satisfaction
> These are genuine clips from council complaint letters
>
> * My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus
> growing in it.
>
> * He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't
> take it anymore.
>
> * It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
>
> * I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my
> knob off.
>
> * I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put
> his foot in the hole in his back passage.
>
> * And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my
> fence.
>
> * I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I
> think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
>
> * My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
>
> * I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
>
> * Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and
> fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
>
> * I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
>
> * 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain
> filthy.
>
> * I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
>
> * The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared
>
> * Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and
> not fit to drink.
>
> * Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
>
> * I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am
> his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
>
> * The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
> unsightly and dangerous.
>
> * Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so
> please send someone round to do something about it.
>
> * I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do
> something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
>
> * Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
> wife.
>
> * I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have
> no satisfaction
