Friday

Tetedelacourse

New Member
Location
Rosyth
Local news, and a man yesterday committed suicide by flinging himself in front of the Great Malvern steam train as it completed its last journey of the day. Apparently he was chuffed to bits.
 

Mr Phoebus

New Member
:biggrin:
Did he have a Tender behind?
 

spen666

Guru
A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.


"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied.


"It's not polite."

"OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are
really none of your business."

Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"


"That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her
friend.

"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her driver's
license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you
are, you are 32."

The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
"How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly,"I know why you and daddy got a
divorce."


"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"




"Because you got an F in sex."

I'll get my coat....
 

bonj2

Guest
Tetedelacourse said:
Local news, and a man yesterday committed suicide by flinging himself in front of the Great Malvern steam train as it completed its last journey of the day. Apparently he was chuffed to bits.
Good news: statistics show that year-on-year, suicides at beachy head have fallen.
 

Keith Oates

Janner
Location
Penarth, Wales
Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip.

They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.

They spend a fortune.

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything.

The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day.

It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"

The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
 
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