DH=David HarmonSK=Sean Kelly DD=David Duffield
Hi, I’m David, David Harmon the good looking, urbane and cool presenter of Eurosport cycling.
I thought I would bestow my pearls of wisdom and my not inconsiderable personality on you mere mortals at Cycle Prat.
SK: Do ya not tink that’s a bit patronising David. I have got der rioght word haven’t I.
DH: Yes for once you Irish farm hand, you have. But no, being so cool let’s me inform and educate the great unwashed of this pathetic little aggregation!
They consider a word from me is like the laying-on of hands by the Pope. Although they may not wish the Pope’s hands upon them under the present scandal with which he is involved.
SK: Now look here you supercilious English twat, any more insults about his Holiness will getcha a punch up der troat!!!!
DD: We now welcome our readers Worldwide, or is it Europewide, Oh, I don’t know! Where’s that nurse when you need her? Anyway David you should know by now that it is I who is the doyenne of all things cycling. Bottechia knew my father, or, was it me? So on and so forth.
I had a nice slice of Parma ham with braised and caramelised vegetables washed down with a cheeky little Valpolicella. Oh yes, Sean has become the Pope I didn’t realise that!?
DH: Look here you old wheelbarrow riding has-been, you are about to be put out to grass with those other inferior presenters, Ligget and Sherwen. They sound like a comedic double act don’t they? In comparison to my soothing silky delivery and my eclectic charms nobody can come close.
SK: You mean electric dontcha ya? You poor man’s David Jacobs. (Titters at his own joke).
DH: No, electric is what has just been installed on your farm in Eire, peasant!
For more of this drivel log on again soon