Funny touring stories

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BigonaBianchi

BigonaBianchi

Yes I can, Yes I am, Yes I did...Repeat.
When I was 16 I cycled down to Paris via Normandy with two schoolfriends. In a shop one day I was buying cigarettes for them because I was the oldest..martin , the short one, tried to reach the top shelf magazines for a bit of fun and slipped. As he fell he grabbed the shelf which collapsed around him sending about ten porno magaZines flying across the room landing in front of the lady behind me oh la la
 
This is an old thread but being bored and convalescing from man flu and trots I am minded to add to it.
1983 ascending the Grimsel pass from Meiringen I took the applause and cheering at the summit car park area from the milling hoards, it was normal to be cheered if you were riding a fully loaded touring bike. I bowed and waved and rode on down into the Rhone valley.
What the impressed coach tourists missed was me stepping out of the back of a transit van just out of eyeshot having been a passenger from 4km further down the pass. In my defence I was still suffering from a two day dose of the trots and a man ferrying workers to a hydro project had taken pity on me when he saw me pushing a 25" gear and weaving about the road not getting anywhere far. It was the drivers idea to drop me off just out of sight, he was a German and thought the idea hilarious, "take the victory" he said as he drove away.
On the same tour I met another German on the road at Zofingen, he was on a tour to what was once Yugoslavia from his home in Switzerland. We camped at the Sarnersee, I was feeling dog rough, had been for 24 hours and it was good to finish for the day and get cleaned up. We sat and chatted about this and that before the conversation turned to "the eye in the pyramid" and some people he had met at a party who were insulting religion and god and after leaving sustained horrendous injuries after crashing in their car. When he said "when I stayed in the clinic" I thought it was time to turn in for the night not fearing for my safety but making sure I had a heavy item to hand, lock and chain probably.
He was a thoroughly nice and humorous bloke when not ruminating on bollox and earlier that day we caught up with an American couple riding fully laden bikes up a hill before the Sursee, my riding partner for the day suggested we torment the man by half wheeling. Half wheeling even when touring is a sport I used to thoroughly enjoy so we took turns to chat with the man and ever so slightly lead him. He was a big bloke, probably 190lb and tall but 10% gradients and big blokes do not mix well, I could detect irritation and his partner slipped off the back as he tried but failed to assert himself. My friend said he would like to stay and chat but needed to move on so we just rode away, the sad but deeply funny part is that the American bloke counter attacked leaving his missus almost out of sight. There is loads of bonhomie while touring but its a slice of life and people are sometimes competitive.
 
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