Getting married - bit scary : any advice!

[mangaman]

Hiya

I am getting married

Finally at aged 45, having never been married before, to a woman who's also never been married and is 41.

Obviously it's all a bit exciting - but overwhelming.

Anyone had the experience of getting married older? For example we wouldn't expect our parents' to contribute unless they want to - but do we wait for them to offer, or refuse any financial help?

Also, I've found, (not surprisingly) the whole thing is very expensive.

Any money saving tips anyone managed to make work would be much appreciated.

Thanks

 

[stephec]

If it's money saving tips you're after, once you're married, stay married!

 

[Mozzy]

Absolutely none ol boy. May I heartily congratulate you?

My very best

Mozzy

 

[Strick]

Firstly, Congratulations to you both.

Secondly, It doesn't HAVE to be very expensive. Decide who you want to share in your day, and what YOU both want. Don't do what others expect (and usually didn't do that their own wedding!!), do what makes you happy.

 

[coffeejo]

Congratulations

 

[vernon]

Marriage doesn't have to be expensive.

Minimise the number of guests. We had ten.

Go for a registry office wedding. Cheap as chips.

Have a small reception in a quality cafe. We used Betty's of Harrogate.

Have a modest honeymoon. We rented a cottage in the Lake District.

No contributions were asked for, or expected, from our parents.

It was perfectly affordable and well within our means. We had a wonderful day with friends and family and a relaxing week in the Lake District. I don't think that the experience could have been enriched by throwing more money at it.


Whatever you choose, have a wonderful day and subsequent married life.

 

[dan_bo]

I can recommend doing what we did a couple of months ago and buggering off overseas (kefalonia in our case). You're more or less guaranteed the weather, and if you play your cards right you won't have many guests to cater for Its not for everyone but its the way we wanted it- and it worked out smashin.

Otherwise, shop around- for the stuff that is not the woman! Congrats by the way.....

 

[Paulus]

Go for the wedding you want, or the prospective Mrs Mangaman wants. You don't have to go overboard but a bit of a do is expected. A certain amount of money over the bar but whatever you think is appropriate is fine, before the guests/ family/ friends have to contribute themselves. Enjoy your day and your future life together.

 

[Night Train]

Congratualtions.

Tips:

You probably already have toasters and home start up sets of plates and cuttlery so decide what you want to do about gifts and make sure the friends and family understand.

Consider the type and size of wedding you want and how much 'pomp and ceremony' you really want with it. If it is in a church then I figure it needs to be respectful to the religion. Otherwise there are plenty of nice places to get get married without resorting to a dowdy registry office.

I went to a wedding recently where all and sundry were invited to the church where there was cake and drinks for all in the church after the ceremony. The reception was then a smaller family do. That has to be cheaper then the other way around.

Have a word with a friend to take some photos of the 'Paparazzi' during the photo session. Then make sure you get copies of all the photos (from the people in the pap photo) sent to you as the guest ones often capture the realism of the event better then the formal ones.
Some short video of the 'conffetti throwing' is also good and much more lively then badly timed stills.

Many friends and family members could provide little cakes and food stuffs for the guests as well as making up invites and other small items. It saves lots of money and gives the family and friends something to feel useful about.

 

[Arch]

Marriage doesn't have to be expensive.

Minimise the number of guests. We had ten.

Go for a registry office wedding. Cheap as chips.

Have a small reception in a quality cafe. We used Betty's of Harrogate.

Have a modest honeymoon. We rented a cottage in the Lake District.

No contributions were asked for, or expected, from our parents.

It was perfectly affordable and well within our means. We had a wonderful day with friends and family and a relaxing week in the Lake District. I don't think that the experience could have been enriched by throwing more money at it.


Whatever you choose, have a wonderful day and subsequent married life.

This, pretty much.

On the other hand, a friend at work (in her 20's) got married recently, and did the whole church and frock thing, but made all sorts of little economies to stop the cost escalating. She made up little paper cones of dried rose petals for confetti, had a friend bake cupcakes for the guests at the church, and we collected Bonne Maman jam jars from the recycling to hold tealights at the reception.

Some other friends, more like your age, had a very minimal register office ceremony with virtually only witnesses, and then an open house evening for people to drop in, with a buffet they'd prepared in advance. One of the nicest 'receptions' I've been to!

Personally, I think I'd weigh up every penny spent on 'the day', against what it could be used for later in more longer lasting ways.

Anyway, whatever you do, congratulations, and have a great day!

 

[Brains]

or as a fried of mine did, bought out a cancelled wedding lock stock and barrel about a month before the event, so they had the other couples church, venue, cars, flowers, photographer, even the menu. All for a set price many thousands of pounds less than they would have paid.

 

[rich p]

Do what you both want at the cheapest prices you can. Catering, booze and venue hire are the large amounts. It's difficult to avoid spending a quite a lot if you're going down the tradititonal route though. It's difficult to find a cheap venue for lots of guests.
My daughter got married earlier this year and it cost me circa £10k doing it 'cheap' without screwing the day up. She got a friend to make the dress, another friend got bridesmaids dresses cheap through her job, a friend did her hair for a gift etc but it still came to 10k.

If you can find a venue that doesn't charge corkage you can save a lot. 'Our' place charged £15 per bottle so it was cheaper to buy their wine at £17 pb. Rip off, but hey ho.

 

[rich p]

Just ahd another thought - the place we used was a lot cheaper on the Friday than if we'd gone for the Saturday.

 

[MissTillyFlop]

Congratulations - so jealous!

Join Groupon - there have been a few wedding specials on there recently.

Also google "last minute wedding deals", the nearer the date, the more desperate they are to fill it and the cheaper it will be.

Don't have an open bar - I haven't been to one of those in many, many years!

Also get your missus to google wedding dress sample sales / discount wedding dresses / sellmyweddingdress.co.uk

 

[PK99]

Firstly, Congratulations to you both.

Secondly, It doesn't HAVE to be very expensive. Decide who you want to share in your day, and what YOU both want. Don't do what others expect (and usually didn't do that their own wedding!!), do what makes you happy.

It's your day - enjoy it!