Getting married - bit scary : any advice!

[Danny]

...you could organise a FNRTTC to arrive for my wedding

Why not ask Dell if he can organise a FNRTTC as your wedding. With a bit of planning it should be possible to find a late night cafe that was licensed for weddings and could put on a nice spread afterwards.

Congratulations by the way. Unfortunately I have no other useful advice to offer as I have been living in sin for 20 years.

 

[The Jogger]

Congrats...................
We got married ten years ago after being together sixteen years, I was 43 and madam was 40 Chi registry office, a few close friends and family for the reception at the Millstream, Bosham, then off to Devon. Very nice day, great food and company and not expensive and still not regretting it. Good luck

 

[Globalti]

They say..... that if you put a marble in a jar every time you make love before you marry then remove one every time after you marry, you will never empty the jar.

*checks* Hmmm... still nearly full after 14 years.....

 

[PBancroft]

I can only echo what everyone else has said about it not needing to be expensive. In fact, the most extravagant weddings are, in my experience, compensating for something else. The day is about you two getting hitched, not about how many flowers you can cram into a picturesque church in a beautiful village you've never been to before and never will again.

Case in point - I remember an ex-colleague telling me of her friends upcoming wedding. Each day the extravagance got more and more outlandish. The whole thing was costing a fortune, and not just for the family. Guests were also having to pay just to attend as it was at the other end of the country meaning a large amount of travel, accommodation etc.

The bride left her groom the week after the wedding. She'd been having an affair with her boss. She went ahead with the wedding because she hadn't wanted to spoil "her big day"

 

[mangaman]

£10K!

Yikes.

I suspect it might be easier for older people to economise. For example, the dress. Personally, I couldn't imagine doing the whole white meringue thing. If I wore a dress at all (and I'd be happier in jeans!), I'd go for something nice, but not necessarily 'wedding specific'.

Photos: do you need a proper photographer? These days, pretty every guest has a fairly decent camera on their phone. Ask them to share all their pics, and there will be lots of nice ones, probably all the nicer for being informal. You can always get some studio portraits done later.

Reception: will you need lots of guests? Can a local pub/community centre hire you a room, and you (and your guests) provide a buffet? I've always fancied just booking a fish and chip van....

Also, I'm guessing you're both already set up with homes and all the cutlery and toasters you need. Make your wedding list a list of stuff FOR the wedding perhaps, and each guest will know they've contributed to the day.

Yikes indeed Arch. As Rich said it's the venues that are expensive - we've decided to make the day special for the guests as some are coming from abroad. The venue / catering / booze is a lot - but we've decided to have a great day. Bleeding expensive though but worth it. The dress / invites etc we will economise on and won't have a honeymoon.

 

[rusky]

I'm guessing there will be another thread for the invite?

 

[mangaman]

Congrats...................
We got married ten years ago after being together sixteen years, I was 43 and madam was 40 Chi registry office, a few close friends and family for the reception at the Millstream, Bosham, then off to Devon. Very nice day, great food and company and not expensive and still not regretting it. Good luck

Cheers TJ - Chi Registry office has just closed, so you have to have a church wedding (which we don't want) or a civil wedding at a site of their choosing at great expense

I liked Chi registry office - nice building - I saw Mick Jagger outside it once after Keef Richards' daughter's wedding. Millstream's very nice as well although we're going for Goodwood Racecourse hopefully - amazing views etc as you know.

 

[mangaman]

I'm guessing there will be another thread for the invite?

The venue is literally yards from the finish of the 1982 Mens' World Race won by Saronni with Sean Kelly 3rd. It's at the top of a hill and I think they rode it 18 times. So we could have a recreation of the worlds in the morning, with the top 3 getting a special invite

(I might have to consult a bit here)

 

[Archie_tect]

Cheers TJ - Chi Registry office has just closed, so you have to have a church wedding (which we don't want) or a civil wedding at a site of their choosing at great expense

I liked Chi registry office - nice building - I saw Mick Jagger outside it once after Keef Richards' daughter's wedding. Millstream's very nice as well although we're going for Goodwood Racecourse hopefully - amazing views etc as you know.

Well at least you'll be able to put a bet on....

 

[Chilternrides]

On a practical level, echoing what others have already said, get friends to do stuff rather than buy stuff you don't need. If you are lucky they can cover lots of expense such as wedding car, photographer, entertainment, dressmaking, cake baking, catering. You could even know someone who has a suitable venue.

This is exactly what my neice did recently - although it relies on knowing people who can provide those services in the first place of course! These things were all offered as wedding gifts:
Her friend from university is setting up her own baking and confectionary business, so guess where the cake came from!
Another friend's husband is a former professional photographer, and her sister-in-law is a frustrated atrist, so invitations, place settings, thank you cards etc. were all designed and produced by her.
The reception venue (lovely old village pub) was very inexpensive particularly as they chose a "take it or leave it" menu; Steak & Kidney pie for the carnivores and goat's cheese & red onion tart for the veggies.

My niece is an absolute tidder, and managed to pick up an ex-display dress for 300 quid, including alterations to make it small enough for her.

And finally - invite only who you really want to be there - what's the point of inviting cousin Dave, who you haven't seen or spoken to for the last five years?

Good luck, good fun and have a great future together.