Giving a cold caller the cold shoulder

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This morning....

Caller: "Is that Mr Cunobelin?"
Me: "Yes"
Caller:"I'm calling about your Dyson Vacuum cleaner?"
Me: "Whats a hoover?"
Caller: It's a Dysom Vacuum cleaner"
Me: "A cleaner - so it has something to do with Housework?"
Caller: "Yes"
Me: "Ah that's women's work then - I wouldn't have a clue, you need to speak to the wife"
Caller: "Can I speak to your wife?"
Me: "No - I'm off to the Pub for a bevy and she's far too busy stripping down the car engine, then she has to mow the lawn, do the washing and ironing, then the housework, by the time I get back - so she won't have time to talk to anyone"
Caller: Silence then hung up!
 

Manonabike

Über Member
If you can upload mp3's to use as ringtones on your phone, just make yourself a silent mp3 and use that
rolleyes.gif

If I could only upload it :biggrin: unless you know of a handset that can do that...
 
I stopped people knocking on the door by printing out the note from Martin Lewis email. Then I got some cheeky bloke knock saying he wasn't selling me anything but he was telling me about government grants to ...... whatever ........ So I asked him if he could read, showed him the notice (in front of him) and he repeated that he wasn't selling anything. Surely if you have to pay part of whatever services they have to offer, he's selling something?
 

Manonabike

Über Member
If you can upload mp3's to use as ringtones on your phone, just make yourself a silent mp3 and use that
rolleyes.gif


Found a handset that one can upload a mp3 file!!!! - Siemens SL785. Very smart looking phones but it's rather expensive. I bought a duo set and hopefully I can silence the annoying calls :biggrin:
 
We get them calling up every evening between 4 and 7,If there's a delay in them

answering then it's a call centre in India and I just hang up,If there in the uk

they usually say can I speak to the homeowner,No, that would be the mortgage company

they're not here, goodbye :laugh:
 

Angelfishsolo

A Velocipedian
A few years ago a cold caller knocked at my house selling double glazing. Now this really p*ssed me off because I was trying to have a sleep before starting work. I decided to wind the poor sod up and invited him in. He went all through his rehearsed speach and what the company could offer. He asked if i was interested and I said yes. He then proceeded to sell me 13 windows and a new front and rear door all top of the range and fitted free. He even offered a discount if i signed up there and then. The total came out just short of £9000, Go on then I said, He then proceeded to fill out all the forms and asked how I was paying and did I want them using the companies payment scheme. Why not what the hell. When he asked for my employment details i told him I was on the dole and the house was rented. That certainly finished him off. He picked up his sample bag and all the paperwork he had wrote out ever so neatly and left without even a goodbye. That was the best hour and 40 mins ive wasted. Do call again :hello:

LMFAO!!!!!
 
C

chillyuk

Guest
I find a "f**k off" works quite well, both on the phone and at the front door.

I have never claimed to be a nice person :angry:
 
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