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Giving Bad News

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by yorkshiregoth, 31 Oct 2007.

  1. yorkshiregoth

    yorkshiregoth Master of all he surveys

    Location:
    Heathrow
    I had a new colleague shadowing me today and his wife phoned him and then for some reason he said his wife wanted to speak to me.

    She informed me that my new colleague's father had passed away and she couldn't bring herself to tell him and asked me if I would be the bearer of bad news. I found it difficult to say no in the cirumstances and I had to do the deed. It was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. The poor man was grief stricken and I had to get him a taxi home.

    I hope I never have to do something like that again :blush::biggrin:
     
  2. BentMikey

    BentMikey Rider of Seolferwulf

    Location:
    South London
    Ooh, that's very tough. I'm impressed you had the strength. Poor guy.
     
  3. Globalti

    Globalti Legendary Member

    A college pal of mine did it the wrong way when a mutual friend of ours was dying. He rang and said "Are you sitting down?" For some reason it really wound me up.
     
  4. Arch

    Arch Married to Night Train

    Location:
    York, UK
    There's barely a good way really. I was lucky that my friends took over a lot of the ringing round, and I only actually broke the news to two people when I was bereaved. The police 'handled' his parents (long estranged from each other) and did it rather badly in both cases.

    It's horrible. You either dance around it with euphemisms, or you have to just come out and say it.

    Good on you for taking it on. I hope you never have to do it again, too.
     
  5. Twenty Inch

    Twenty Inch New Member

    Location:
    Behind a desk
    Sad. I'm sure you did it well. Good on you.
     
  6. walker

    walker New Member

    Location:
    Bromley, Kent
    You should of said 'I've got some good news and some bad news, the bad news is your Dads passed away, the good news is you can have a week off to go cycling'
     
  7. domtyler

    domtyler Über Member

    Well done you but really poor show on the part of his wife I'd say.
     
  8. magnatom

    magnatom Guest

    Nasty for you and very sad for the chap you broke the news too.:blush:

    Walker, I don't think that joke is appropriate here.
     
  9. domtyler

    domtyler Über Member

    Nothing wrong with a bit of black humour Mangatom, lighten up. It's not as if anyone here knows the guy for gawds sake.
     
  10. walker

    walker New Member

    Location:
    Bromley, Kent
    thanks Dom, I thought I was being evil then
     
  11. Carwash

    Carwash Señor Member

    Location:
    Visby
    Yeah, I'd have to agree. No excuse for her bottling it. You hardly know the guy and she's his wife! Surely it's better that he hear it from someone he knows and loves than from a new acquaintance?!

    That said, you did very well in the circumstances.
     
  12. Maggot

    Maggot Star of BBC 5Lives Ballot Box Brigade

    Location:
    Cheddar
    YG I can really empathise with that. It sounds like you managed the situation really well.

    I was a ward manager in the NHS for a number of years. We had a lady in with us for depression. It fell to me to tell her her husband had gassed himself in their car, at their favourite beauty spot, on their wedding anniversary, wearing an entire set of womens clothing, including her underwear:ohmy: It sounds comical, but it was one of the hardest things I have ever done, and I have told quite a few paents that their children have killed themselves. The police insisted she be told of his attire, as there was going to be an inquest and it would come out in the course of it. Poor poor lady.
     
  13. domtyler

    domtyler Über Member

    How did you comfort her?
     
  14. for some reason this reminds me of Homicide: Life on the Streets...
    "why don't you guys ever have good news?"

    "we're Homicide, there is no good news."

    L
     
  15. Twenty Inch

    Twenty Inch New Member

    Location:
    Behind a desk
    Kerr-ist.