Good manners

[Krypton]

I'm constantly surprised by people's manners.

Much as we should try not to stereotype people we often can't help drawing certain conclusions based on how someone talks, looks, their breadth of vocabulary, what they drive, etc. Experience teaches you that certain "types" tend to generally behave in a certain way; and the more people you meet that fit your pre-conceived stereotype, the more it is reinforced.

So it's both refreshing and shocking when you are met with the opposite of what you expect.

For example, I am occasionally shocked by the rudeness of some educated and well-to-do types. I would expect them to have had good manners drilled into them as children.

Equally, I am occasionally pleasantly surprised when I come across a seemingly less well educated and to one degree or another poorer person who displays the manners and politeness I would normally expect from the well-to-do's.

Are manners a class or environment thing, or is it down to our parent's encouragement when we're growing up, or do you think some people are simply more pleasant than others?

 

[Fnaar]

I was pleasantly surprised when I moved to the north-east by the generally far higher standard of manners you encounter on a daily basis. Far more civilised than the south.

 

[Sittingduck]

I was pleasantly surprised when I moved to the north-east by the generally far higher standard of manners you encounter on a daily basis. Far more civilised than the south.

May I ask, where in the South you were before?

 

[Globalti]

That would be south of Glasgow.

 

[Fnaar]

May I ask, where in the South you were before?

Lahhhhndan, mostly.

But not exclusively... rellies/friends living in other parts... same comparison applies.

 

[Arch]

Are manners a class or environment thing, or is it down to our parent's encouragement when we're growing up, or do you think some people are simply more pleasant than others?

Yes, to all of that....

Also, define good manners? I mean people can say please and thankyou meticulously, but still have a brusque manner, that some might think rude. Or they might reserve their good manners for those they see as deserving - as a glorified binman, I've met people while working who seem to feel I'm beneath good manners (although a great many of our clients are lovely, and appreciate us very much).

 

[marzjennings]

I am never shocked by the lack of manners from the well educated and well-to-do as I've found good manners inversely proportionate to ones wealth and/or perceived social status. Often those who have nowt are the most polite as manners are free. That's the way we were brought up.

But I don't think in general you can point to one group and paint them as a polite set and I think it has everything to do with one's upbringing and education (formal and social) and nothing to do with class.

Also, as mentioned, define good manners. I've found what I thought were polite actions to be taken as patronizing and even offensive.

For example in moving to the US I've noticed that referring to someone present in the room in the third person is quite accepted. Also here in the US it's expected you allow women to enter lifts or entrances first and to hold doors open for them. Last time I held a door open for a women in the UK I was informed that she was quite capable of opening a door by herself, thank you very much.