Got a p**cture then mate?

[NormanD]

middle of winter with 2.5 ft of snow outside and still snowing hard, stepping in to the shop for some milk ... I see you're wearing a coat, is it cold outside? ... No I'm a flasher and the three woman I flashed on the way here didn't notice a thing!

Out for a meal and standing serving myself at the salad bar, when a friend walks up to me ... I see you're choosing a salad, you on a diet? .. of course not, the rabbit turned it's nose up at this lot and you know how I hate to waste stuff!!

In hospital with my broken leg in traction .. brother visiting ... "what have you done?" ... damaged split ends, this is the new cure!! (when I had hair)

 

[david1701]

I really like the dumb ass obvious things people say, its comforting that there is nothing scary and important to say

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I really like the dumb ass obvious things people say, its comforting that there is nothing scary and important to say

No it isn't, it is scary and downright disconcerting that you are having to share space with someone who is so obviously an idiot with nothing important to say. Escape before they turn you into one too!

 

[BrumJim]

Q: Is anyone sitting in that seat?
A: Yes, the invisible man! Does it look like anyone is sitting there?
Q: Sorry, I'll try that again. Are you an ignorant antisocial git who hates anyone sitting next door to them, and will make my journey a misery if I attempt to sit in that seat, or is there a genuine reason as to why you prefer the aisle to the window seat? Now give me an answer so I can judge you for as long as I remember your existance.

(Never tried it, but would be tempted if given the chance)