ha! And adjusting your brakes is a 'five minute job'....
......Here's a funny story to illustrate just how un-knowing some people are about bikes. I watched at a Uni second-hand bike auction, as a girl and her boyfriend looking a potential purchase over. He held it up off the ground, and asked her to turn the pedals. He put it down, satisfied, and she said "well, that's no good then". He looked puzzled and asked why not? "Well," she said, "the front wheel didn't go round."
I can't imagine her being able to check a bike over very competently....