Has he been?

[Salty seadog]

The any good jokes thread is >>>>>≥

When asked what I wanted for Christmas I said, 'ooo, how about something to wear and something to play with?'

I got a pair of trousers with a hole in the pocket...

 

[MarkF]

MIL bought me 4 torches in a row so I go MrsF to tell her that I didn't need any more torches, so she bought me a micro wave leakage detector. This year I asked for socks but and got a large wooden hedgehog, WTF?

 

[Tim Hall]

I got the best present ever. Eight or so years ago I collected Boo from Uni. She'd had breakdown and was in bits. She came home and didn't leave the house for months. Our confident outgoing intelligent gorgeous daughter disappeared.

Last night I sat in a bar in Vancouver where, post an OU Degree, she has started her life over, having come out here on her own. There she was surrounded by new friends, having taken us on a tour of some of the city sights, and one says to tlh and me "You must be so proud to have raised such a confident and independent woman."

Thank you Santa. Thank you God. Thank you universe.

That's wonderful Greg. I'm a soggy mess here after reading that. In other news, my favourite niece bought me a ukulele. Be afraid. Be very afraid. And my other favourite niece bought me a bottle of Talisker.

 

[Fab Foodie]

Some deodorant? A pair of lovely long trousers? A case of carlsberg?

Yves Rocher after shave.... maybe a subtle hint :-/

 

[Speicher]

Yves Rocher after shave.... maybe a subtle hint :-/

Not Ferrero Rocher?

 

[Fab Foodie]

Not Ferrero Rocher?

Nuts would be too much of a hint...

 

[Deleted member 26715]

Bought the 7 year old grandson a Scalextric he proudly brought it with him to play with after lunch, it lasted 15 minutes before one of the controllers broke. I never had one but can remember friends with them that lasted years & years. The quality is so poor now.

 

[Katherine]

I got the best present ever. Eight or so years ago I collected Boo from Uni. She'd had breakdown and was in bits. She came home and didn't leave the house for months. Our confident outgoing intelligent gorgeous daughter disappeared.

Last night I sat in a bar in Vancouver where, post an OU Degree, she has started her life over, having come out here on her own. There she was surrounded by new friends, having taken us on a tour of some of the city sights, and one says to tlh and me "You must be so proud to have raised such a confident and independent woman."

Thank you Santa. Thank you God. Thank you universe.

How wonderful!

 

[Salty seadog]

The any good jokes thread is >>>>>≥

I think it would get rejected at the quality control stage.

 

[J1888]

MIL bought me 4 torches in a row so I go MrsF to tell her that I didn't need any more torches, so she bought me a micro wave leakage detector. This year I asked for socks but and got a large wooden hedgehog, WTF?

Tell her to shove it

 

[winjim]

It's the first year that our daughter has really understood what's going on and been excited for Father Christmas and all that and it's been absolutely farking magical. Best bit was when she got bored of watching Cinderella and decided to come and play train set with me instead. She's got her priorities right.

 

[classic33]

It's the first year that our daughter has really understood what's going on and been excited for Father Christmas and all that and it's been absolutely farking magical. Best bit was when she got bored of watching Cinderella and decided to come and play train set with me instead. She's got her priorities right.

You'll be letting her take control then?

 

[Reynard]

I dunno about Santa (I don't think he can open the stove door from inside) but we've just had 2 cats fighting in the house, neither of em ours and not the 'fluffy lad' either (update follows*)

Nah these 2 were a black 'neutered tom' that lived 4 doors away but now lives with a new couple 3 doors away and a big ginger .stripey boy. (that I suspect is still a full Tom) so our Moggies are all a bit 'freaked out' by the kerfuffle.

* (update)
'Fluffy' has begun to tolerate a bit of fuss from us, not too much you understand but a start. The difference with him is that there is no aggression towards our 5 cats (all neutered) unlike the 2 'battlers' from earlier on. Thing is with 'Fluffy' that I don't understand is how someone could have such a gorgeous looking lad and not care for him, I don't 'show' cats like @Reynard does but this lad (if groomed) would be a serious contender.
He may well have been born wild though and learnt 'cat flap hunting' for food we really don't know.

Oops. Maybe you should've asked Santa for a microchip-operated cat flap.

I used to show a cat who was a former feral. It can be done.

 

[Reynard]

Santa Paws definitely visited Casa Reynard.

The girls got three large boxes of Dreamies, a new doughnut bed and a catnip-filled chicken toy that clucks when it moves.

Mum got a big metal planter full of hyacinths, two Christmas cribs for her collection and a pretty snow globe.

Muggins got a new onesie, a lovely cat mug, a Grumpy Cat calendar, a Tesco gift voucher and some fluffy thermal socks.

The best present of all though, was the smile and hug I got from the in store janitor in Tesco on Christmas Eve when I gifted her a box of Spekulatius. (A German Xmas speciality) She's a truly lovely lady and I hope she enjoyed her biskits.

 

[Welsh wheels]

My son gave me this very stylish Buff

View attachment 388485

The wife bought me a bottle of Macallan 12 year sherry oak and a bottle of Talisker 57’ North

Snap, I also have that exact same buff.