hopless500
Trundling along
- Location
- not-as-flat-as-you-think Norfolk
Have you ever smuggled?
- Thread starter Boris Bajic
- Start date
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AnythingButVanilla
Über Member
- Location
- London
I forgot about the 200 valium I bought without a prescription but from a proper pharmacist in Goa. Are you allowed to bring that stuff back legally?
stowie
Legendary Member
Not really smuggling stories, more border mishaps.
In my younger, smoking, days I bought around 600 cigarettes (3 large packs) from the US on my first visit there. I was young and had completely forgotten that there was a limit of 200 from non-eu countries. I only twigged when I read the in flight magazine. The packs were in a clear plastic bag in full view which I felt the customs officers would think would be taking the p!ss if I simply breezed through and I may get the rubber glove treatment in retribution. I also only had a smallish ruck suck as carry on. So I spent a proportion of the 12 hour flight breaking open the large packs and secreting the cigarettes about my person. I walked off the flight like I was John Wayne or had had an unfortunate mishap on the flight. I got home in one piece with lots of crumpled packs of cigarettes.
Another occasion to the US I was with a colleague who spent the whole flight trying to drink the plane dry. I think he succeeded. He was somewhat eccentric and was the only person I have ever known who organised a pack lunch for a transatlantic flight. At the other end he approached US immigration and customs with a drunken bonhomie that was concerning. Even more concerning was when he produced some cheese and pickle sandwiches for the customs inspector when asked if he had any foodstuffs with the line "does this count?". It was at the height of foot and mouth when everyone from the UK was being treated like they had ebola. Somehow - to this day I don't understand how - the customs man got very confused by this abnormal honesty and let him through. I also doubt Branston pickle was something he had encountered before.
In my younger, smoking, days I bought around 600 cigarettes (3 large packs) from the US on my first visit there. I was young and had completely forgotten that there was a limit of 200 from non-eu countries. I only twigged when I read the in flight magazine. The packs were in a clear plastic bag in full view which I felt the customs officers would think would be taking the p!ss if I simply breezed through and I may get the rubber glove treatment in retribution. I also only had a smallish ruck suck as carry on. So I spent a proportion of the 12 hour flight breaking open the large packs and secreting the cigarettes about my person. I walked off the flight like I was John Wayne or had had an unfortunate mishap on the flight. I got home in one piece with lots of crumpled packs of cigarettes.
Another occasion to the US I was with a colleague who spent the whole flight trying to drink the plane dry. I think he succeeded. He was somewhat eccentric and was the only person I have ever known who organised a pack lunch for a transatlantic flight. At the other end he approached US immigration and customs with a drunken bonhomie that was concerning. Even more concerning was when he produced some cheese and pickle sandwiches for the customs inspector when asked if he had any foodstuffs with the line "does this count?". It was at the height of foot and mouth when everyone from the UK was being treated like they had ebola. Somehow - to this day I don't understand how - the customs man got very confused by this abnormal honesty and let him through. I also doubt Branston pickle was something he had encountered before.
- Location
- Glasgow
You know too much @Hill Wimp I'm afraid I have to kill you ...I smuggle cake out of the conference room at the end of usually boring meetings and before the catering staff come in to recycle it for the next conference to save money
Raging Squirrel
Well-Known Member
- Location
- North West
I was offered a free holiday to Jamaica for 2 weeks if I brought back a few bottles of a particular rum. This wouldn't normally be a problem, only for the fact that the person who asked me was a yardie from Brixton who had just got out of a 5 year stretch at Kirkham nick for having a boot full of cocaine
Cocaine had been suspended into the the liquid of the rum bottle at the factory, and then factory sealed.
The liquid is then boiled off to leave the crystal cocaine at the bottom of the container. I was contemplating it for a few hours before deciding it was probably not a good idea.
Cocaine had been suspended into the the liquid of the rum bottle at the factory, and then factory sealed.
The liquid is then boiled off to leave the crystal cocaine at the bottom of the container. I was contemplating it for a few hours before deciding it was probably not a good idea.
Jefferson Meriwether
Veteran
- Location
- Worthing
Not exactly smuggling but a couple of years ago I had a 3 week holiday in Portugal. I had 60 euro's left at the end of the holiday so, rather than put up with crap exchange rates at the PO when I got home, I bough 10 50g pouches of baccy and sold them to mates when I got home; at least that way I got a decent exchange rate.
Banned Spycatcher book from US around '86...
Banned NWA CD from Hong Kong around '91...
Bottle of Spiritus and some sort of mushroom IIRC for friends parents from Poland around '97...
Throw away the key!
Also got offered free return trip to Tokyo when backpacking in Singapore if I brought back some 'cosmetics' I politely declined...
Banned NWA CD from Hong Kong around '91...
Bottle of Spiritus and some sort of mushroom IIRC for friends parents from Poland around '97...
Throw away the key!
Also got offered free return trip to Tokyo when backpacking in Singapore if I brought back some 'cosmetics' I politely declined...
ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
A mate and I flew into Alicante airport with our bikes at that time. We were confronted by various officials, journalists, and photographers. We didn't have a clue what they were saying to us, but they used sign language to indicate that they wanted us to remove our bikes from their boxes and roll the wheels through troughs of chemicals in front of massed banks of cameramen. We assume that Costa Blanca newspapers would announce the next day that feeeelthy pox-carrying Engleeeesh cyclists were disinfected before being allowed onto Spanish soil!
Oh, and they made us throw our butties into binbags too, which was particularly galling because the hotel restaurant had shut by the time we finally checked in.
Durian
Über Member
- Location
- Chiang Mai. Thailand.
I recently flew back in to Thailand and was waiting for my bag to turn up but it didn't appear. I asked the staff where my bag might be and they directed me to another terminal. I made my way to the terminal and due to the lateness of the hour there was nobody about and I saw my bag next to the carousel so I picked it up and headed to the exit, that was when two customs officials appeared and wanted me to put the bag through the scanner.
I waited whilst they checked the screen of the scanner and they then invited me to come and look at the screen for myself where I saw what looked like packets of drugs packed in to my bag, they wanted to know what I was carrying and, thinking I was being fitted up, I told them it was nothing to do with me. At this point I didn't know whether to run or stay put as I was convinced, due to the corruption here, that the officials had planted something whilst I had been waitng at the other terminal.
Once the bag was opened it became clear what the 'packets' were. I had forgotten all about the many bars of chocolate I had bought in Switzerland.
I waited whilst they checked the screen of the scanner and they then invited me to come and look at the screen for myself where I saw what looked like packets of drugs packed in to my bag, they wanted to know what I was carrying and, thinking I was being fitted up, I told them it was nothing to do with me. At this point I didn't know whether to run or stay put as I was convinced, due to the corruption here, that the officials had planted something whilst I had been waitng at the other terminal.
Once the bag was opened it became clear what the 'packets' were. I had forgotten all about the many bars of chocolate I had bought in Switzerland.
Er yes......Was caught smuggling explosives into the UK (Wait, wait.......please read on.....honestly not as bad as it seems).
I was 14 and was lucky enough to go on a school trip to Switzerland. Our school went with about 4 or 5 other schools all of who were older than us. In any event in Switzerland my friends (but no me!) bought thousands of these small fireworks, small enough to light and hold in your hands. In any event on the return journey we came back though France over a channel crossing and into Victoria Station in London. Our luggage was somehow delayed and was coming into Victoria on a following train. The teachers with our party said they were going to see some sights in London (I suspect that they went for a beer). This left 10 or so of us on Victoria station for an hour or so and some bright spark (
) thought it would be extremely funny to let some of the fireworks off. I had a walking stick (a souvenir) with a hole in the end - a perfect size to put a firework in and ignite. After about half an hour or so of this "fun" our small group was surrounded by what I recall as 20 or 30 (it was probably 2) special branch officers (I suspect they were British Transport police, but to me they were Special Branch). I was identified as the "ring leader" and marched into an interrogation cell (well an office in any case) where I was questioned by an officer with epaulettes on his shoulder (at 14 with no "previous" I assumed that he was probably a Commander (at a minimum)).
Special Branch Commander: So how many of these fireworks do you have?
Me: None
Commander: So where did you get them?
Me: I can't remember (I was not going to be a rat and in any case if i had I would have been beaten to a pulp)
Commander: I have broken harder men than you (said as he slapped his cane in his leather gloves)
Me: Whimper (I had tears in my eyes)
Commander: I hope that you know that bringing explosives into the country is a very serious offence. ( I am sure now that he must have been laughing with his other colleagues but I did not see this)
Me: Louder whimpers (and thoughts of doing a long stretch)
He then said that he would search my hand luggage where I had 2 ash-trays "borrowed" from the Hotel Lucerne of wherever we were staying. Now I knew it ... it would be a very very long "stretch". The Commander then said that he would be searching all the luggage (from all of the schools) when it did arrive. Now it was getting serious. The other school kids were all older and from (what I assumed) were some of the hardest schools in London. I knew, as they had been boasting about it, that they were smuggling in large quantities of cigarettes and alcohol. As they came back they found out what had happened and they were none to happy with my school and me in particular. I was now wanted by the police and the hardest criminal underground gangs that London had.
Our teacher returned to see all of this mayhem and let us say they were none too pleased!!
Finally the luggage came in and the police did not search the luggage (thank god) (tbh they were probably laughing so much they had no energy for the search!!!).
AS you can probably guess that was the end of criminal career and I have never been a big fan of 5th November since. (btw. this must have been in 1970 or so).
Happy days (I am still mentally scared by that day)
I was 14 and was lucky enough to go on a school trip to Switzerland. Our school went with about 4 or 5 other schools all of who were older than us. In any event in Switzerland my friends (but no me!) bought thousands of these small fireworks, small enough to light and hold in your hands. In any event on the return journey we came back though France over a channel crossing and into Victoria Station in London. Our luggage was somehow delayed and was coming into Victoria on a following train. The teachers with our party said they were going to see some sights in London (I suspect that they went for a beer). This left 10 or so of us on Victoria station for an hour or so and some bright spark (
) thought it would be extremely funny to let some of the fireworks off. I had a walking stick (a souvenir) with a hole in the end - a perfect size to put a firework in and ignite. After about half an hour or so of this "fun" our small group was surrounded by what I recall as 20 or 30 (it was probably 2) special branch officers (I suspect they were British Transport police, but to me they were Special Branch). I was identified as the "ring leader" and marched into an interrogation cell (well an office in any case) where I was questioned by an officer with epaulettes on his shoulder (at 14 with no "previous" I assumed that he was probably a Commander (at a minimum)).Special Branch Commander: So how many of these fireworks do you have?
Me: None
Commander: So where did you get them?
Me: I can't remember (I was not going to be a rat and in any case if i had I would have been beaten to a pulp)
Commander: I have broken harder men than you (said as he slapped his cane in his leather gloves)
Me: Whimper (I had tears in my eyes)
Commander: I hope that you know that bringing explosives into the country is a very serious offence. ( I am sure now that he must have been laughing with his other colleagues but I did not see this)
Me: Louder whimpers (and thoughts of doing a long stretch)
He then said that he would search my hand luggage where I had 2 ash-trays "borrowed" from the Hotel Lucerne of wherever we were staying. Now I knew it ... it would be a very very long "stretch". The Commander then said that he would be searching all the luggage (from all of the schools) when it did arrive. Now it was getting serious. The other school kids were all older and from (what I assumed) were some of the hardest schools in London. I knew, as they had been boasting about it, that they were smuggling in large quantities of cigarettes and alcohol. As they came back they found out what had happened and they were none to happy with my school and me in particular. I was now wanted by the police and the hardest criminal underground gangs that London had.
Our teacher returned to see all of this mayhem and let us say they were none too pleased!!
Finally the luggage came in and the police did not search the luggage (thank god) (tbh they were probably laughing so much they had no energy for the search!!!).
AS you can probably guess that was the end of criminal career and I have never been a big fan of 5th November since. (btw. this must have been in 1970 or so).
Happy days (I am still mentally scared by that day)
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