Headstone query

[johnnyb47]

Hi.
My mum passed away ,back in 2012 and was buried and not cremated.
My step dad (to which we've lost contact with each other "that's another story) arranged for funeral as well as the headstone.
I don't visit the grave very often as I personally still find it very difficult and upsetting in all honesty,but the other day I had a call from my mother's brother telling me there's been a notification put on the headstone saying it's loose and unsafe.
I'm going tomorrow to have a look for my self but from what I've been told from my uncle the headstone was fixed to the base stone with just epoxy glue/resin.
Now I always thought there should always be a stainless steel dowel attaching the two.
I'm slightly concerned the Stone Masons that did the job, have not done it properly in the first place.
So tomorrow I'm going to have a look myself and if I can't see a metal dowel I'm going down to have a word with the company who did the headstone..
If I get no joy from them and it turns out that just using epoxy resin is the normal standard would I be allowed to fix it myself.
Many thanks for reading,
Johnny

 

[Drago]

It you fix it yourself simply don't tell anyone.

 

[Accy cyclist]

They led quite a few gravestones in my local cemy down a few years ago, due to subsidence, but these were very old, very tall, very heavy stones, likely to crush someone to death if the fell on them! As far as I know, like my dad's gravestone, stones these days are cemented onto plinths.

 

[annedonnelly]

I don't think you'll be allowed to do it yourself.

I've recently made enquiries about making changes to a family grave and there are loads of fees that need to be paid to the cemetery as well as the stone mason's charges. I expect it's slightly different in each area though.

Be aware that you also have to have ownership of the grave. In your case the owner might be your step dad if he arranged everything.

 

[Accy cyclist]

It you fix it yourself simply don't tell anyone.

Yes, definitely, as if they find out about these things, the rules and regulations book comes out and they always find a way of classing such things as 'unsafe'!!

 

[johnnyb47]

They led quite a few gravestones in my local cemy down a few years ago, due to subsidence, but these were very old, very tall, very heavy stones, likely to crush someone to death if the fell on them! As far as I know, like my dad's gravestone, stones these days are cemented onto plinths.

Cheers Accy
That's interesting to know.
My mums headstone probably sits around 2ft high , Pretty standard affair

 

[johnnyb47]

I don't think you'll be allowed to do it yourself.

I've recently made enquiries about making changes to a family grave and there are loads of fees that need to be paid to the cemetery as well as the stone mason's charges. I expect it's slightly different in each area though.

Be aware that you also have to have ownership of the grave. In your case the owner might be your step dad if he arranged everything.

Ahhh ok,
So if I went to the stonemasons to enquire/complain they would only act on it if my step dad was to intervene on the issue.
As for me repairing it myself I thought it would be a non starter.
I forgot to mention the grave will also be used for my step father when he passes away (a double grave).
It looks like I'm going to have to do some detective work and track him down.

 

[Accy cyclist]

I went in the cemetery last Sunday and saw these two must be family related graves with a short plastic fence around both graves. Today I noticed the fence had been taken down and folded up as you can see. A woman told me the council put a note on the fence saying the fence was a hazard as workmen strimming around the graves could trip up over it, so it had to be 'dismantled'!!

 

[Drago]

Yes, definitely, as if they find out about these things, the rules and regulations book comes out and they always find a way of classing such things as 'unsafe'!!

Indeed. I'd turn up wearing a fluorescent and smoking a roll up and would simply look like a great British workman, albeit one actually doing some work.

 

[Accy cyclist]

Cheers Accy
That's interesting to know.
My mums headstone probably sits around 2ft high , Pretty standard affair

With that (lack of) height it shouldn't be a problem, but as we know, councils do like to look for problems!!

 

[johnnyb47]

Apparently they've been going round the cemetery giving the headstones a good,"wobble test".
In the past I've noticed quite a few labeled up as unsafe

 

[Accy cyclist]

Apparently they've been going round the cemetery giving the headstones a good,"wobble test".
In the past I've noticed quite a few labeled up as unsafe

There is one in my local cemy that is about 110 years old, probably about 7 foot high and leans like the leaning Tower of Pisa! I always give that very tall and heavy headstone a wide berth!!

 

[johnnyb47]

It's amazing having the power of the Internet.
I've managed to track my step dad down and we've just spoken about it.
As he has the ownership of it we can now go forward on getting it sorted out tomorrow.
Thank you all for replying on such a delicate issue.
Its always appreciated to get some well informed advice off you good people here @CycleChat

 

[annedonnelly]

Pleaed to hear you've got it sorted and have been able to agree a way forward with your step dad.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Pleaed to hear you've got it sorted and have been able to agree a way forward with your step dad.

If your step Dad owns the plot - but your Father-in-Law is to be buried there as well then it might be worth sorting everything out regarding permissions, ownership and all that
Easier to do it when you have time and everyone can talk rather than - err - later