Nannie, I ride with my GF and I would never have a go at her for fumbling around with the gears! I've been riding bikes since I was 7, she started when she was 25!
My advice as follows, without too much waffle (I hope!):
1) As your husband for support and advice, rather than criticism! Specifically, ask him for advice on (a) how to select the best gear for the terrain and (

riding position and technique. (e.g. - when crossing very bumpy terrain at speed: change down a gear or several, stand up off the saddle, shift your bum out over the back wheel, bend forwards a little, keep the peddals flat when coasting, keep your arms and legs bent (they're your shock absorbers) and look where you want to go rather than at your front wheel ... has he taught you anything like that?).
2) Make sure you have your bike set up right for you - i.e. correct saddle height and position, correct handlebar height, correct placement of the controls on the handlebars to suit your hands (You can undo them with an allen key and move them around).
3) Clothing!! If you wear the wrong clothing, particularly in this weather, you will be cold, uncomfortable and miserable. I suggest layering - lots of thin, breathable layers with a wind-proof breathable "shell" as a outer layer if it particularly cold. Make sure your hands and feet are warm by wearing gloves and, more importantly, ensuring that your layers are all long-sleved and "long-legged" - if you want warm hands and feet you need to blood in your arms and legs to be warm right down to your wrists and ankles.