I have a cofession to make.

[postman]

After a bad nights sleep,i have decided to come clean,Years of product abuse must be aired.So i can approach my 63rd birthday in Feb.
You see i take certain substances to enhance my cycling performances,so i throw myself at your feet and seek forgiveness.
I have sinned by taking on my rides,large volumes of Latte coffee double chocolate fudge cake and twix bars.I am weak but i have no respect or self control.My fellow cyclists please find in your hearts a space to forgive me.
I now feel better as clean as the snow which is falling steadily outside my window.I have finally found peace after coming clean.
So how many more wish to join me in unburdening yourself of your guilt.Peace be with you.

 

[fossyant]

Latte, should be strong Americano at least !

 

[mark st1]

I hope your not shoveling snow with a rolled up £20 note.

 

[vernon]

Not having a conscience means that I have nothing to confess to.

However if pie induced effluvia counts as assistance - guilty as charged.

 

[TheDoctor]

I have ingested huge amounts of cakes and Bacon rolls in a doomed attempt to succeed.
But everyone else was doing it too, so I don't feel guilty.

 

[Speicher]

I am positive that I have never been tested for taking cake.

 

[Maz]

I am positive that I have never been tested for taking cake.

Reminds me of this great 'Cake' spoof from Brass Eye...

 

[Speicher]

You are lying, I may have called you a drunken twerp, and if you are lying about that, are you being economical with the truth? You cannot have your cake and eat it.

 

[Archie_tect]

You cannot have your cake and eat it.

I can.

 

[PaulB]

I've got a confession to make. I'm going to make it now before the press gang up on me and my sins become an 800 page thread on this website.

I ate FIVE chocolate Digestives last night! FIVE!!! I couldn't resist them. I know I'm weak and possess no self-control but I'm throwing myself on your mercy.

 

[Drago]

Only 5? Call yourself a substance abuser?

 

[Scoosh]

A good promo, using substance abuse as it's 'hook'.

 

[Kies]

Tell me postman .... "Did you do this substance abuse alone?"

 

[Andy_R]

I can.

No you can't - I've eaten it.

 

[vernon]

Tell me postman .... "Did you do this substance abuse alone?"

You mean self abuse?