I hit my first car today

[Bigtallfatbloke]

I couldnt get it in time and i had big gloves on and no pen handy...no harm done though

 

[Pete]

I suspect that WVM won't give a damn about the dent - probably wears them as a 'badge of honour' anyway. After all it isn't his van, most likely, is it?

I'd agree with Arch here, in a narrow road with parked cars on the opposite side, be in primary as much as you can. Gives you space to duck to the left for cover, and also makes it emphatically clear to oncomers that the lane is yours and no nonsense - just as it would be if you were a car. This tactic more effective at night, true, especially if you've got a really good front light, after all WVM can't be sure you aren't a motorbike. And he won't want to mess with a motorbike...

 

[User482]

I hit a flat bed transit at the back recently - he'd pulled out of a junction, then started reversing back when he realised he wouldn't make it! Scared the sh1t out of the driver cos he thought he'd knocked me down. He was very apologetic, which is something I suppose.

 

[papercorn2000]

You could try and track down where he works and pay a visit. I suggest that you torch is van - preferably with his chavvy mates inside. Then you must visit the offices. Take a selection of semi-automatic weapons and don't leave until all the guys' workmates are dead. Go to his house. Kill his dog, kill his wife, sell his kids into slavery somewhere with no child protection laws. Burn down his house.
Burn down his neighbours houses.
Kill his parents. Kill his brothers and sisters. Kill his cousins and aunties and uncles.
Then you can calmly saw off his hands and feet, blind him with a blunt object and rip out his tongue.
THAT should teach him.

 

[Brock]

Shame you didn't get the number, could probably report him for leaving the scene of an accident. Glad you're ok BTFB.

 

[Monst]

do what I do.... hit the wing mirrors with great force - the wing mirror either folds back fast with a load bang against the glass or falls off hanging by the remote control wire/electric cable.

 

[Abitrary]

..well it was all his fault...and I had to hit his car to stay upright...shame about the dent...oh well...

I was on the inside of the lane (couldn't have been closer to the side) on the opposite side of the road is a parked car. This moron in a ...wait for it...White van...pulls around the parked car over onto my side of the road...

I used to think that White Van Men were mis-rep-resented. I used to think because there were sometimes 2 in the cabin, that one would moderate the other's working class tendencies.

I now think it's the opposite judging by the amount that try to mow me down. I think they are doing dares or something.

A cyclist scalp for pie sort of thing

 

[Alan Frame]

Glad you are okay.

Got his registration number? Report to the police.

...but only if you're ready for his counterclaim for criminal damage.

 

[turbo tim]

You could try and track down where he works and pay a visit. I suggest that you torch is van - preferably with his chavvy mates inside. Then you must visit the offices. Take a selection of semi-automatic weapons and don't leave until all the guys' workmates are dead. Go to his house. Kill his dog, kill his wife, sell his kids into slavery somewhere with no child protection laws. Burn down his house.
Burn down his neighbours houses.
Kill his parents. Kill his brothers and sisters. Kill his cousins and aunties and uncles.
Then you can calmly saw off his hands and feet, blind him with a blunt object and rip out his tongue.
THAT should teach him.

papercorn I really think you've gone a bit far with that. I can't see any reason why the dog should suffer. Try and maintain a bit of perspective.