Damn! Wish I had kept out of this thread now. Had a very disappointing lunch today while in Manchester with Lady Skol for a spot of Christmas shopping. Popped into Patisserie Valerie on Deansgate, arriving just minutes after 12, just when the place was nice and quiet before the lunch rush. Ordered soup of the day (there was a choice of two) and Moroccan chicken with couscous.
Waited ages then was told my soup was sold out. No problem, I would have the other soup, same as my wife. Waited a while longer then soup arrived scalding hot! Then waited an age for the main course. Had to ask about it twice and kept being reassured that it wouldn't be much longer

Our meals eventually arrived at 1.15! Relieved, I tried to spread my shaped mound of couscous out on the plate but the first attempt deflected my knife and fork. I went in for a second attack and found I was trying to saw into something that had the resilience of a regulation tennis ball! At this point I called over the head waitress and demonstrated my problem before throwing down my cutlery in disgust and suggesting to my wife that we should leave now. Lady Skol was starving so she had to eat her meal despite the salad looking as though it had been out in a hot sun for a few hours.
The waitress asked if I wanted my meal replacing and I pointed out that we had already been there since 12-o-clock and had other things to do, NO I do not want any food now and the whole fiasco was rapidly descending into a farce.
In the end all my food and my wife's main course was knocked off the bill so we ended up paying for a few drinks and a single soup but I would have gladly spent £50 elsewhere for a decent lunch

Anyway, thanks
@postman I'm sure this is your fault, I should never have posted on your thread!
Lady Skol reminded me of the time we stormed out without paying. It was 14 years ago when she was pregnant with our first child. The service was diabolical and the final straw was when her main course arrived and it was a chicken breast that was totally raw in the middle!