Some years ago on a nice day I was walking across town back home in the afternoon. I stopped at a pub in a quiet part of town I'd only been in a couple of times.
I walked up to the bar and ordered a Guinness.
'Hey salty seadog'
The barmaid said
'long time no see, you're looking well'.
I then realised it was the sister of an ex girlfriend of mine.
In all sincerity I replied,
'Your looking pregnant.'
Silence ensued as she slipped out the back.
I downed the quickest Guinness ever and left within seconds.
That's how it's done.
True story.