if you read one art review this year - make it this one

[theclaud]

That's awesome! What was it for?

We put the following line from a review on the masthead of our website for a few years - 'Too eclectic to pigeonhole, or enjoy.'

Thanks! I collect this stuff. It was for a show called After the Orgy - odd how people who are perpetually affronted by sex seem drawn to titles that promise it! This is my other favourite:

"I am deeply shocked and upset by the obscene, violent and noisy performance of Macbeth shown at the Corn Exchange on Friday evening ... There were parts of the play that would be more suitable for a Paris nightclub, for instance Lady Macbeth performing a near striptease with lewd gestures and black suspenders, just the thing for perverts but not for sensitive adults. Macbeth was frequently in positions suggesting the sexual act with Lady Macbeth. The noise was so loud that I still have a painful ear several days later. There was violence of a disgusting degree, a dummy child being beaten savagely to death by a madman. On Friday evening 20 people walked out, and I would have joined them but..." Disgusted of Chieveley

 

[Crackle]

I spent a great deal of time getting drunk with Hirst in the 80's - my best mate at college was his best mate from school. He's why I gave up being an artist. I've always believed that a piece of art should speak for itself. It was clear that he would be a success but that his success would be based on his ability to market himself rather than the quality of his work. The art world should be ashamed that they ever fell for it.

Every interview I've seen with him, it was fairly clear what his purpose was: Make money out of the gullible. Can't fault his business plan up to now, though that review suggests he may be taking the piss too far now.

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Gawd, I've been in bands for enough years to have plenty of bad reviews!

 

[jonny jeez]

Not if he's crap at painting...

Harsh but true.

 

[Archie_tect]

Every interview I've seen with him, it was fairly clear what his purpose was: Make money out of the gullible. Can't fault his business plan up to now, though that review suggests he may be taking the piss too far now.

He's unskilled at drawing and painting in the way Van Gogh was embarrassingly awful when he started out imitating the French school, but unlike Van Gogh he hasn't achieved control by putting the practise in. Hirst's notoriety- achieved by displaying sensational, overblown pieces made credible to the sycophants with clever and descriptive prose- appealed at the time to the Saatchis and others with wealthy new investors keen to buy into trends and fashion. Crackle's right- he's caught his paying audience during his own lifetime- a clever trick.

... the emperor and his entourage have been caught out by Jones's brutal honesty, sadly, the establishment can't afford to lose face or their money so the con will perpetuate and Jones's criticism will fall on deaf ears.

 

[Fnaar]

If you can't draw lifelike representations of a skull, a tree or a crumpled piece of paper, you're not an artist .
Unless you can do good cartoons. Or sculpture. Or potato prints. Or embroidery.

 

[Fnaar]

...or hands.

Or better still, hands drawing hands...drawing hands drawing hands

 

[ASC1951]

... the emperor and his entourage have been caught out by Jones's brutal honesty....

Possibly. There again, those who can, do; those who can't, teach; those who can't even teach, churn out a page a week for the Guardian.

It's a typical critic's piece. Smug, sarcastic and intended to demonstrate his own cleverness by rubbishing the artist in question. If young Jonathan had any artistic talent of his own, he would be out there using it.

 

[asterix]

I am not a fan of Damien Hirst.
I saw his pharmacy installation at the Tate modern a few years ago, due to the amount of people i didn't notice a kick stool with an instrument tray full of honey comb on top of it until my foot made contact with it. The noise made most people in the room turn around.

Thankfully the majority of them smiled but there were a couple who stared at me as if i had just crapped on the Mona Lisa.

Don't give him ideas..

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Possibly. There again, those who can, do; those who can't, teach; those who can't even teach, churn out a page a week for the Guardian.

It's a typical critic's piece. Smug, sarcastic and intended to demonstrate his own cleverness by rubbishing the artist in question. If young Jonathan had any artistic talent of his own, he would be out there using it.

I'd go along with this in general but Hirst is still a talentless twat though.

 

[Archie_tect]

Possibly. There again, those who can, do; those who can't, teach; those who can't even teach, churn out a page a week for the Guardian.

It's a typical critic's piece. Smug, sarcastic and intended to demonstrate his own cleverness by rubbishing the artist in question. If young Jonathan had any artistic talent of his own, he would be out there using it.

Sometimes the truth hurts but doesn't stop it being true, especially when it is well observed and honest.. no problem people painting because they have a drive and a love of art but that comes with humility to allow others to judge...some people shouldn't inflict their work on others, even worse present it as high art when it is commercial tat. Brushwork, observation of light and shadow, proportion and skill shine out.
You've never been a teacher then, sure there are those who drifted into teaching but I don't know one art teacher who didn't love art and want to pass on that love to others so I disagree with your well worn and tired cliche.

 

[smutchin]

Don't give him ideas..

I think Chris Ofili got there first.

d.

 

[Archie_tect]

As in- had one commercial idea and, with exceptionally clever marketing, milked it to death?

 

[threebikesmcginty]

In fairness to the guy, he did score a hat-trick in a world cup final

 

[Yellow Fang]

I'm gagging for Brian Sewell's review.
EDIT : Actually, sorry. This post is just an excuse for another outing of this clip....

Talking about Brian Sewell, his review of a previous Hirst exhibition says much the same as the link in the OP.