I'm back, after a series of disasters. (Looking for recovery)

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Debian

New Member
Location
West Midlands
Hello everyone, did you miss me? No? Well, that's OK, I haven't missed myself much.

This post represents a bit of catharsis for me, and will hopefully set me on the road to recovery.

Back in September I was run down by a "blind* motorist, hurt my back and knee and was unable to cycle for nearly three months. Let alone all the bother of police interviews, statements, insurance, legal stuff, getting bike repaired, etc.

October saw my wife visit a solicitor and tell me out of the blue she wanted a divorce. We discussed and agreed to let things settle for a little while, see if we could work things out.

Then, just when I was starting to get back on the bike down came the big freeze in December, so no cycling.

December also saw the beginning of problems at work, new server installs in December were cut short by the weather situation and come January the network wasn't fully shaken down, so there were a few nasty teething troubles.

I'm now treading on eggshells at home, really trying to get rid of any problems that were affecting my marriage. I'm also on eggshells at work as I was given an undeserved bollocking for the problems in January. The problems were actually down to my very poor boss, but for some unfathomable reason he's graded "Persil".

At the end of January, an external contractor installed some equipment that completely took down the network, only, it took us, all of us in the IT team, two days to determine the cause. Guess what? Even though it wasn't, it was my fault. It's now beginning to feel like being inside one of those conspiracy films where someone has their identity stolen and all sorts of shoot pinned on them, a bit like the film "The Net" for those that saw it. Next thing I know, I'm being hauled up on a disciplinary charge at work. Once again, my manager is "Persil", not only this but he's now even telling outright lies about me - I have proof, but only in documents that I shouldn't have, and if I presented them I'd be up for breach of confidence or something; it starts to feel even more like "The Net"! So my union is now involved, and so are my employer's solicitors.

By now I'm starting to feel in a right mess and two weeks ago, my union advisor told me, categorically, that I was mentally unfit to be at work and told me to leave, immediately and see my GP. I did so, reluctantly at first, managed to get straight into my GP who spent 40 minutes with me, on spec. Long story short, I'm suffering from severe stress disorder and bordering on a personality disorder. Immediately signed off work for two weeks and put onto medication.

Then, a few days later, (about a week ago) my wife announces that there's "someone else" and she'll be leaving as soon as possible. O_O This is my last straw, I love my wife more than life itself, I would willingly lay down my life for her, without thought or question, and now this!

Boing..... back to docs, etc. Signed of for another week, medication dosage increased, doubled in fact. I have full blown clinical depression and WRS syndrome.

Spent last two weeks, well, sitting on sofa in a daze to be honest. Lethargic, continual floods of tears, not eating, hardly sleeping. I know I should do something to start to pull myself up, my children need me fit and well if no-one else does but everything is too much effort. Way too much effort. I should get out cycling, exercise is good.

So, here's the point of this rambling post, for those that got this far that is....

Does anyone in the Worcester area fancy a gentle bike ride over the next few days? XC or road, but nothing too energetic, I'm now a bit out of condition. If I can get someone, or a few people to commit to a ride with me, it'll make me make the effort to get out, otherwise, I know I never will.

Anyone fancy a ride??
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
I can't help on the ride front, but that sounds like a truly awful couple of months. I hope it's all upwards from here.

Can you face getting out on the bike even if it's just round the block? Even just a quarter of a mile in the sun (when we get some) will help to get you going again. You might even find that after that quarter of a mile, you feel like doing just one more, and so on. Tiny steps. Even if it's to the newsagent for a big bar of chocolate.

All the best.
 

upsidedown

Waiting for the great leap forward
Location
The middle bit
Hi Debian

Sounds like you're in the thick of it right now, you have my best wishes.
I work in Redditch and would be happy to go for a spin after work tomorrow if you're in the area.

take it easy

paul
 

Lisa21

Mooching.............
Location
North Wales
I am too far away to be of any help but my heart goes out to you.Look after yourself and be as strong as you can xxx
 

BrumJim

Forum Stalwart (won't take the hint and leave...)
Would love to, but being out of the country for a week is going to make it a bit of a problem.

Hoping my usual cycling partners can help out. Try the BC&SB Social ride thread?
 
OP
OP
Debian

Debian

New Member
Location
West Midlands
I can't help on the ride front, but that sounds like a truly awful couple of months. I hope it's all upwards from here.

Can you face getting out on the bike even if it's just round the block? Even just a quarter of a mile in the sun (when we get some) will help to get you going again. You might even find that after that quarter of a mile, you feel like doing just one more, and so on. Tiny steps. Even if it's to the newsagent for a big bar of chocolate.

All the best.

I know it sounds ridiculous, I would have said so myself before all of this, but it's almost too much effort to get off the sofa to go to the loo. It's a horrible feeling. That's why, If I can get someone to say "come on, we're off out in an hour" then that would give me a kick up the butt to get going.
 
OP
OP
Debian

Debian

New Member
Location
West Midlands
Hi Debian

Sounds like you're in the thick of it right now, you have my best wishes.
I work in Redditch and would be happy to go for a spin after work tomorrow if you're in the area.

take it easy

paul

Thanks for offering Paul, but Redditch is too far for me to contemplate right now. I'm thinking more in terms of a few miles around Worcester.
 

Fnaar

Smutmaster General
Location
Thumberland
Can't help on the ride front, but hope things start to sort themselves out. Look after yourself...
smile.gif
 
OP
OP
Debian

Debian

New Member
Location
West Midlands
Thanks for the replies! Every single one helps me.

I should, I guess, also point out that I'm 56 years old, reasonably fit but out of condition and slightly overweight, so don't expect Olympic sprinting from me. :-)

My marriage, which is my second, lasted 17 years.

Thanks again everyone.

Pete
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
I know it sounds ridiculous, I would have said so myself before all of this, but it's almost too much effort to get off the sofa to go to the loo. It's a horrible feeling. That's why, If I can get someone to say "come on, we're off out in an hour" then that would give me a kick up the butt to get going.

No, I know just what you mean - I often need a 'reason' to go out, and I'm perfectly well and happy. I can quite imagine what it's like.
 

longers

Legendary Member
I can't offer anything but best wishes. As Fnaar says - look after yourself. Eat well and sleep well if you can.
 

snapper_37

Barbara Woodhouse's Love Child
Location
Wolves
I often need a 'reason' to go out, and I'm perfectly well and happy.

+ 1.

Sorry I can't help with the ride Pete but I sincerely hope you get a few good breaks and start to feel better soon. Posts like yours put a lot of things in context in our own self-centred lives.

All the best.
 
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