Debian, you've had a shocking time of it, and as others as said, if it helps, you need to know there are those of us who have been in the same dark places as you have. You do however seem to be on the first few rungs to helping yourself back up, and I wish you every best wish going. Recognising when the black dog has come to stay is a crucial part of the process, and you really need to be able to challenge that inner voice of self doubt which starts nagging at you when things seem darker.
I've had a very similar few months and though I can't offer a bike ride in the near future, you are more than welcome to ring me for a chat if you ever need to. PM me and I'll let you have a number. Don't think I'm being weird, but someone threw me a similar offer a months or two ago, and where I can't repay him, at least I can pay it forward.