Insults for car drivers

[ComedyPilot]

Equally I have never, ever done the following and would certainly not advocate such childish, petty and curmudgeonly behaviour

1. Wait until offending vehicle is in a queue of stationary traffic
2. Make sure you have a clear escape route. Recheck the escape route
3. Come alongside vehicle and open rear nearside door
4. Repeat for passenger door
5. Cycle off on escape rote and leave vehicle with doors open.

Driver now has to get out and walk round car to close doors, as they cannot do this form the passenger seat!

I most certainly would not condone carrying a bag of dog poo on the handlebars, and depositing it in the rear footwell of errant drivers' cars - oh no.

That would be extremely childish.

 

[Red Light]

I just go for a resigned utterance of "Numpty" possibly accompanied by a shake of the head.

 

[bof]

Top tip:
Check for tattoos on the knuckles before doing any of this.

 

[ufkacbln]

Top tip:
Check for tattoos on the knuckles before doing any of this.

Why do you think I check the escape route twice!

 

[ComedyPilot]

Top tip:
Check for tattoos on the knuckles before doing any of this.

[Takes cycling gloves off - no sign of any tattoos - carries on regardless]

 

[Bigsharn]

I only shout if I feel I've been endangered... And because it's very much heat of the moment it's along the lines of f'n w'kr

I would never condone keeping your lock on your handlebars, swinging wildly as you use the cycle lane you've just been told to get the f' on and destroy the wingmirror of the car the expletive has just emerged from.
I seriously wouldn't condone that, it was a friend of a friend... who I happened to be following at the time.

 

[PpPete]

There are a few times when I've considered sewing a small square of emery cloth on to my gloves, just in case I should ever get close to apply it to the roof of a car....