OP
OP
Haitch
Flim Flormally
- Location
- Netherlands
No, the insults are suposed to be jokey, in a teenage TV drama kind of way, e.g. "global warmer!", "speed freak!".
Insults for car drivers
- Thread starter Haitch
- Start date
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U
User482
Guest
The one that really seems to wind them up is when I shake my head at their ineptitude. I've been meaning to use "button it, fatty" for a while, but the opportunity hasn't yet arisen.
Mr Phoebus
New Member
A few times now when I've had someone alongside me with their nearside window down trying to give me grief
I've thrust out my pointed finger to the front of their car and yelled "LOOK OUT!" pretending that they're about to smack
into the back of someone because they were too engrossed in me.
Both times they've really jumped and shite themselves, the one locked up his brakes.
I've thrust out my pointed finger to the front of their car and yelled "LOOK OUT!" pretending that they're about to smack
into the back of someone because they were too engrossed in me.
Both times they've really jumped and shite themselves, the one locked up his brakes.
Had a woman in a 4x4 pull alongside and then across the line in front of me on an ASL and then start indicating left to turn across me.
Turned round and asked if she was really intending to cut me up
Her reply was to "Go way and procreate"
That made her fair game...
"Excuse me, is that a Misubishi Shogun?"
"Why"
"Well, as you are in a bike facility, that means that you must be the bike then!"
...no reply
Turned round and asked if she was really intending to cut me up
Her reply was to "Go way and procreate"
That made her fair game...
"Excuse me, is that a Misubishi Shogun?"
"Why"
"Well, as you are in a bike facility, that means that you must be the bike then!"
...no reply
The other one was a local firm who have appalling driving standards.
They were parked on a cycle path and when challenged decided that a torrent of abuse and a "middle finger" were appropriate
A quick email with the (silent) video and the objection that their employee was making inappropriate and unsolicited sexual advances provided a week of hilarious emails as the managers back pedalled and tried to justify their actions.
They were parked on a cycle path and when challenged decided that a torrent of abuse and a "middle finger" were appropriate
A quick email with the (silent) video and the objection that their employee was making inappropriate and unsolicited sexual advances provided a week of hilarious emails as the managers back pedalled and tried to justify their actions.
Matthew_T
"Young and Ex-whippet"
- Location
- Prestatyn, North Wales
Will have to try that.A few times now when I've had someone alongside me with their nearside window down trying to give me grief
I've thrust out my pointed finger to the front of their car and yelled "LOOK OUT!" pretending that they're about to smack
into the back of someone because they were too engrossed in me.
Both times they've really jumped and shite themselves, the one locked up his brakes.
Matthew_T
"Young and Ex-whippet"
- Location
- Prestatyn, North Wales
I must remind everyone that I have a habbit of shouting at people (watch my videos) so I am picking up a lot of useful information from this thread.
I particularly like the "Sphincter" and "Ringpeice" comments. I will try them out tomorrow (just at general people on the path).
I particularly like the "Sphincter" and "Ringpeice" comments. I will try them out tomorrow (just at general people on the path).
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
You've gouda be kidding!
ComedyPilot
Secret Lemonade Drinker
- Location
- The Kingdom of Yorkshire
If passed by a motor vehicle in a manner not to your liking, and you get the 'nirvana of all nirvanas' situation where aforementioned vehicle (due to it's cumbersome size) becomes ensconsed in traffic, then try this:
Roll up to the passenger visual-aid implement (window), knock thrice on said article to gain the attention of the motor vehicle's operator and custodian.
When the custodian lowers the window to enable verbal communication to commence, then (and only then), politely ask them to listen to your bike, because you believe their close pass (or whatever the driver did etc) caused damage.
With their attention fully-achieved, set off on the bike and exclaim loudly, "Waaaaannnn-Keeeeeeerrrrrrr"
For added effect, make the noise as if your changing gear between syllables.
Edit: Special Brucey-Bonus points apply should you get them twice if they pass you again.
Roll up to the passenger visual-aid implement (window), knock thrice on said article to gain the attention of the motor vehicle's operator and custodian.
When the custodian lowers the window to enable verbal communication to commence, then (and only then), politely ask them to listen to your bike, because you believe their close pass (or whatever the driver did etc) caused damage.
With their attention fully-achieved, set off on the bike and exclaim loudly, "Waaaaannnn-Keeeeeeerrrrrrr"
For added effect, make the noise as if your changing gear between syllables.
Edit: Special Brucey-Bonus points apply should you get them twice if they pass you again.
NormanD
Lunatic Asylum Escapee
- Location
- Heworth the other side of life!
the one I use in return at a shouting motorist .. "I couldn't agree more chubbs, hows the Hemorrhoid?" ...only used it twice and both times I left them totally confused! 
deptfordmarmoset
Full time tea drinker
- Location
- Armonmy Way
Petrolpants!!!!
DiddlyDodds
Random Resident
- Location
- Littleborough
I drive a car so you may call me "Sir"
vernon
Harder than Ronnie Pickering
- Location
- Meanwood, Leeds
Shouting out self critical comments sometimes have unintended consequences.
I will be unsympathetic if you get lamped.
vernon
Harder than Ronnie Pickering
- Location
- Meanwood, Leeds
Edam well is.
