Insults for car drivers

[fossyant]

Sorry Bicycle, but you do not know the type of people who live around these parts (they are not bicycle literate). Some of them are confused when presented with a cycclist on the road in front of them and get scared when they realise they will have to overtake me.

Is that old people in the winter, and scousers (and some mancs) in the summer ?

Try commuting in a city !

 

[fossyant]

Smile and wave !

 

[ComedyPilot]

I would NEVER advocate carrying a 4" square off-cut of carpet in your bag, that has a dozen 2" nails stuck in it. I would certainly NEVER advocate riding up to the offending (and now queueing) vehicle, stopping in the blind spot and 'accidentally' dropping the carpet on the ground in front of the rear wheel.

Most certainly not, not me.


Not ever.

 

[marafi]

The middle finger and if they say anything just reply back. 'In amsterdam this means thank you, so be greatful you bakayayor'

Or say your zip is open! OR your tail light is broken. lol

 

[Ethan]

I usually stick my tongue out at them, especially when they're having a go!
guaranteed to provide confusion and, on occasion blind rage. Once or twice I've even had a bit of a chuckle, which always helps to calm the situation.

But I have to admit, when someone has truly scared me I do get very angry.
A few days ago a woman pulled out of a junction (right turn for her) onto the road I was traveling in, forcing me into the curb almost losing control.
She then went on to left hook me literally 5 meters down the road.
I politely knocked on her window and said 'what the hell are you playing at! You almost hit me twice then.'
Her reply 'Sorry, I didnt see you.'
It was a fairly clear day, I had all my lights on (not some shitty halfords jobby, I'm a Christmas tree!) because thats how I roll when its raining.
So I calmly raised my handle bars to show her my lights, rapidly followed by her covering her eyes and I said, with increasing volume and anger
'Didn't see me? Didn't see me? Didn't see me??!?! ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH Are you blind wench?'

I genuinely felt bad about it after, but she really scared me at the time!

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Mostly ther eis no point is conversing with these dorks. Best to bypass that and go straight to the full on confilct mode, its all they understand anyway.

"You cannot reason with ignorance"

 

[Mugshot]

Sorry Bicycle, but you do not know the type of people who live around these parts (they are not bicycle literate). Some of them are confused when presented with a cycclist on the road in front of them and get scared when they realise they will have to overtake me.

If that really is the case then you have a responsibility to yourself and all other cyclists that they may encounter to behave in a manner which does not suggest we are a bunch of loud mouth oafs.

If they just choose to get passed me as quickly as possible, thinking that it will be safer when they come too close for comfort, I will explain to them my feelings for such a manouvre in expletives and non-friendly hand movements and gestures. This could possibly result in them giving me the same response I had given, or they will simply brake and I will make sure I am well away from them and not attempt to overtake.

Educate not remonstrate, or ignore it.

I will only do it in a situation where I feel safe and they cannot retaliate in any way.

Only old men and women then?

Many people have said that if I keep shouting things and tooting the airzound, that one day I will get thumped. Apart from that never happening so far, people in these parts have a habit of not doing anything. They know if they hit anyone, then they are in trouble and as I am aware this could happen at any moment, I wil to keep my distance from people and cars. That is the reason I deem many overtakes as too close where as someone in a city centre might have got used to them being that distance and therefore discarded most of them.

I hope it wont happen but I think somebody will thump you one day Matthew, it may even be another cyclist

 

[vernon]

I hope it wont happen but I think somebody will thump you one day Matthew, it may even be another cyclist

Someone like me

I've already flagged the likelihood of him getting thumped and I'd be prepared to give him both barrels if he tried his pre-rehearsed arsey behaviour on me.

It's the likes of the minority of cyclists like him that add to, and reinforce, the perception that cyclists are bigoted tossers.

 

[vernon]

Someone like me

I've already flagged the likelihood of him getting thumped and I'd be prepared to give him both barrels if he tried his pre-rehearsed arsey behaviour on me.

It's the likes of the minority of cyclists like him that add to, and reinforce, the perception that cyclists are bigoted tossers.

When he reaches puberty he might see the light

 

[Mugshot]

I've already flagged the likelihood of him getting thumped

You, me and several others I'm afraid vernon

 

[snorri]

You, me and several others I'm afraid vernon

So many others, and the advice is apparently ignored, I can't help but wonder if we have a :troll: in our midst.

 

[subaqua]

So many others, and the advice is apparently ignored, I can't help but wonder if we have a :troll: in our midst.

nope, just a stroppy teenager from the place that sounds like the welsh for sex.

 

[Matthew_T]

Well I admit that I have some serious issues that I need to sort out.

I have just recalled a time when I went out with the club and we were riding two abrest down a bendy country road (loaclly know as the "Dizzy bends"). A van sounded his horn behind up and again when he passed the bunch closely. I seemed to be the only one to respond by this by tooting the airzound and yelling at him. I am not sure what the other cyclists thought.

I basically treat the roads as if I am going to die every time someone passes me. I am always aware of my surroundings and what other people are doing. When someone passes me too closely, I get anxious and angry as an aspect of fear. The reason I confront driviers is that I take the majority of incidents too seriously and feel it necessary to explain to the driver that I could have been killed and I got scared of their intimidating manouvre.
It sounds a little over-the-top and probably makes things worse, but I have a terrible memory and only seem to concentrate on one thing at a time.

Today when I went out, I felt a bit more cheerful (apart from the weather) and remembered to be positive. I only shouted at a skip lorry who was driving like a maniac (very close pass and nearly clipped a bus), so tommorrow I will try to be a lot better and smile a bit more. The weather was a downer today.

 

[Mugshot]

explain to the driver

This (Well sometimes, not usually worth it)

shouted at a skip lorry

Not this

 

[ufkacbln]

I would NEVER advocate carrying a 4" square off-cut of carpet in your bag, that has a dozen 2" nails stuck in it. I would certainly NEVER advocate riding up to the offending (and now queueing) vehicle, stopping in the blind spot and 'accidentally' dropping the carpet on the ground in front of the rear wheel.

Most certainly not, not me.


Not ever.

Equally I have never, ever done the following and would certainly not advocate such childish, petty and curmudgeonly behaviour

1. Wait until offending vehicle is in a queue of stationary traffic
2. Make sure you have a clear escape route. Recheck the escape route
3. Come alongside vehicle and open rear nearside door
4. Repeat for passenger door
5. Cycle off on escape rote and leave vehicle with doors open.

Driver now has to get out and walk round car to close doors, as they cannot do this form the passenger seat!