Insurance For Sex

[Smokin Joe]

The following is a list of the correct insurance companies for sex .........

SEX with your wife - legal & general

SEX with your future wife - Mutual Trust

SEX with your secretary - Employers Liability

SEX with a prostitute - Commercial Union

SEX on the telephone - Direct line

SEX with your biographer - Quote me happy

SEX in a hurry- Insure & go

SEX with your boyfriend -standard life

SEX with a transvestite - confused .. com

SEX with someone different - go compare . com

SEX with an animal - compare the meerkat . com

SEX with a fat bird - More Than

SEX on the back seat - sheila's wheels

SEX with an o.a.p - saga

SEX with a posh bird - privilege .com

SEX with a sheep - Farmers Union

 

[asterix]

SEX with a prostitute - Commercial Union


That'll be why CU got taken over by General Accident?

 

[Over The Hill]

I'm with Swift

 

[krushavik]

There's nothing I can add to that. Fnaar will think of something.

 

[HLaB]

You better get some fast, aparently the EU are going to make it illegal in 18 months

 

[661-Pete]

The original - more or less as I heard it, years ago:

There were these five big insurance companies planning a merger, they engaged this wacky artist to design them a new logo for the big combined company. After a few days he presented his proposal to the Board of Directors.

It consisted of four completely identical images of a man and a woman in bed together, arranged in a square, with a picture of a baby in a cot in the centre.

The Chairman hummed and ha'd and eventually spoke up "Yes - er - very interesting, but we don't quite understand. Can you explain your idea please?"

"Yes," replied the artist. "The picture on the top left is of a man having sex with his wife. That's for Legal and General. The picture on the top right - exactly the same as you can see - but this one is of a man having sex with his girlfriend. That's Mutual Trust. Then the picture at bottom left is of a man having sex with his secretary. That's for Employer's Liability. And the picture at bottom right is of a man having sex with a prostitute. That's Commercial Union."

"I see," said the chairman. "Then, what about the baby in the middle?"

"That's General Accident."

 

[Salad Dodger]

I'm with Swift

Wine spat all over the keyboard..... cough, cough, splutter!

 

[HLaB]

Wine spat all over the keyboard..... cough, cough, splutter!

At least it wasn't Sheila's Wheels or maybe he wishes it was

 

[Deleted member 1258]

I'm with Saga

 

[661-Pete]

I'm with Saga

Ditto.

But don't read anything into that...

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

SEX - with an old dog. Churchill, oh yes....

 

[sheddy]

Sex in East Anglia - Norwich Union

 

[Norm]

I'm with Swift

I's with Pet Plan!

 

[slowmotion]

Visually impaired - First Direct

 

[Riverman]

SEX - with everyone? Nationwide.....